#The ledger of fools

28 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

red cedar
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We walk blindfolded through the streets of our own making,
tripping over promises we swore we’d keep,
handing our hearts like coins to strangers
who count them and spit them back.

I have known the taste of regret,
bitter as ashes on a tongue once sweet,
and the sting of loyalty returned in shards,
as if devotion were a toy
meant to break in our trembling hands.

Foolishness is a fire we carry,
thinking it warmth,
while it devours the bridges
we built with trembling hope.
We love too fast, trust too easily,
and believe in shadows that never asked for our faith.

The heart—oh, that traitorous organ—
beats, even when it knows the truth.
It loves again where it should not,
trusts again where it should fear,
and bleeds in silence
for the foolish choices of its owner.

We measure loyalty in footprints,
but footprints fade.
We swear to stand, to endure,
to guard another’s soul like a lantern
against the dark,
and yet the dark finds a way in—
slips through the cracks of our resolve,
turns fidelity into smoke.

And when betrayal comes,
it is a storm without mercy.
The wind howls with every “I trusted you,”
the lightning sears every “I believed,”
and the rain—cold, relentless—
washes away the illusion of forever.

Yet still we return,
still we hand over our hearts,
still we build and burn,
for in foolishness is the only fire
that keeps us human,
and in heartbreak is the only echo
that tells us we once dared to love.

So walk carefully,
but walk anyway.
Trust is a blade, loyalty a fragile shield,
and decisions—oh, the foolish decisions—
are the ink with which we write our lives,
even when the pages are torn
and the margins soaked with tears.

keen creek
red cedar
red cedar
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@still vortex Might give mine a shot? I write really less but I'd like some honest review. Thank you <3.

P.S.: English isn't my first langauge.

still vortex
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Im drawn to this piece, initially i thought it would be a critique towards humans for being so naive and foolish so as to trust when they know they shouldn’t..etc, but it ended being encouraging. I would say maybe using more metaphors or imagery would be useful here, but I’m not sure as there are various styles to writing poetry, not every style must contain metaphors and such. To me this piece symbolises growth, grit; despite being hurt, still choosing to be vulnerable which is very powerful

red cedar
novel zealotBOT
daring plank
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@chrome dove im undoing this

chrome dove
red cedar
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Did I do smth wrong? My apologies

hexed flax
#

they pinged the admin roles

red cedar
#

Yeah my fault, im sorry :(.

red cedar
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@signal holly Take a look?

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@shrewd dust @hexed flax

signal holly
signal holly
# red cedar <@1278002755725955084> Take a look?

Your poem is truly beautiful because it captures deep emotions with vivid images and honest truth.
Lines like “handing our hearts like coins to strangers” show how vulnerable love makes us, while “foolishness is a fire we carry, thinking it warmth” perfectly describes how we mistake pain for comfort.

The poem becomes even stronger with lines such as “the heart—oh, that traitorous organ—beats, even when it knows the truth,” showing how the heart keeps loving even when it knows it shouldn’t. And when you write “betrayal comes… a storm without mercy,” it killed me Totally amazing ✨🙌🏻

snow beacon
#

Mayest I,
Reply Dbweep

snow beacon
#

Then I shalt

snow beacon
# red cedar We walk blindfolded through the streets of our own making, tripping over promise...

In the 1st stanza,
You uncovered a deep,
Dark message hidden,
Along every heart much steep.

The 2nd, giving your experience,
Thou caught every reader's heart,
By dipping the essence of foolishness,
Thou stole every soul's start.

The 3rd is relatable, To everyone,
Be it one in good or baddest of spirit,
None can decline, Your message,
For every soul is truly hit;

By the organ thou mention,
In 4th beauteous stanza;
'Tis what makes us do those things,
Which we ever stand for.

The 5th one talks, Of statistics,
We never mention aloud in front,
Yet keep in mind of everything,
That how rain makes us burnt.

The 6th one hits, Like a bal,
Where every heart comes to stall,
And Oh those words, They hit deep,
Where feelings take birth, And they keep;

The heavenly word that thou mention,
Within the beautiful, 2nd last para,
For 'Tis also true, And we keep,
Every tension, Out of era.

Hence we walk, Humanity,
Along thine last but ne'er least,
Stanza which keeps us ever lovely,
And hence we become "True Bards" deep.

red cedar
snow beacon
red cedar
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Thank you soo much, you described it classically!

shrewd dust
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Will after getting back to home

red cedar
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For sure 😊

snow beacon
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@brisk sequoia