#About a human

31 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

opaque kiln
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Are we to blame light
because of the shadow?
Are we to be ignorant
because we are the shadows?

Are we to give up
because the shadows are reaching?
Are we too good to
admit we, too, leave a mark?
Are WE to good to
understand the dark

onyx herald
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This poem is nice.
Though the execution feels uneven. Some lines, are like "are WE too good to / understand the dark," disrupt the flow with inconsistent capitalization and phrasing. Which seems a small bit intentional which seems nice.
The repeated questions can feel over used, which weakens the imact of the central message. The imagery of light and shadow is clear. It is a wonderful poem.

opaque kiln
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Thanks

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So what would you do to make it a better poem, i'd love to hear it

sly quailBOT
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*So what would you do

to make it a better poem,

i'd love to hear it*

- blacksummer_roots
visual fern
#

I love how you ask questions that can't really be answered.. cause every person has a different perspective.. this is amazing!

opaque kiln
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Thank youu

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@kindred flower

kindred flower
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it's not bad dudeeee I wanna know what inspired u to write this

opaque kiln
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uuh

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inner fights?

kindred flower
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oooo

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interesting

opaque kiln
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ya kinda physcophatic

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but dw abt it evil

kindred flower
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it's alright we've all been there

opaque kiln
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lma

kindred flower
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u gud?

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👀

opaque kiln
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me rn

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yeah im okay lmau

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thanks for asking

kindred flower
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lolz

kindred flower
opaque kiln
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b--n-n-n-n-n-nnooo....

kindred flower
opaque kiln