primal raven
tw:sh
.
Why do i do it?
They question me–
“Why do i do it”
And suddenly,
The voices in my head fall silent,
Like they never existed.
None can bother to speak up now,
No more shouting,
No more complaining,
No more pleading,
The system is shut down.
How do i explain it–
That i dumb down the chaos
By seeing red across my body
Witness me break myself
With my own bare hands
I do it to leave proof of regret.
I carve tails in scars
And leave behind traces of stories
etched deep–
i will never let fade away
Tell me-
How do I make the perilous thoughts leave?
The sharp reflections i stare through on myself
the art of curving myself into numbness
Until i almost make believe
I am nobody–
but dull, dead and insensible
I reckon the cost
of turning into a cold heart,
I have revised the bills,
Tallied the numbers
of this outcome
Yet, i stand tall and proud
Like its a pilgrimage–
A journey I would revisit for the learnings
Since, i have become someone
i would have hated.
For now look at me-
Reasoning every downfall
as a vain attempt,
Measuring through the journey
of discomforted seats.
But “They’re just excuses”,
Right mom?
sacred lake