Poet's Potion

[little knoll]

With a goblet, I scooped up
Teardrops from a lovelorn giant
I wrote a few haphazard stanzas
Closed my eyes, crossed my pinkies
I pulled a vein from my wrist,
And let it rouge the water
I recited the spell, slippery fingers on the handle
The Autumn breeze lashed against my hair,
And I forced a little smile

Maybe you could drink the poet's potion
You could entertain his pleas
You could delight his delusions
As his tears turn into seas
Boys don't embrace magic like this
But I could curse your pale lips

You craft novels, and I conjure rhyme
Your words send chills down my spine
As you contemplate the meaning of mine
There aren't many alchemists in these parts
So we all have dormant hearts
I blurt out my spells at you
Magic flickers in bright blue

If I gave you my potion,
You'd see through my ruse
I'd bite my tongue, and you'd never know
The worlds I could build for you
But your fantasies are sturdy,
And mine slip between my fingers
We're the only wizards in this land
I'm an easily enchanted man
And you're a gentleman with a gentle hand,
But maybe you could drink the poet's potion
And be the one to cure his poison

[ivory glacier]

@little knoll has sent a notification! - @wheat rover @flat jay @reef grotto @past halo @tacit dragon

[short rapids]

The second stanza is my favorite by far. But I love the entire thing
I like the metaphors and imagery
It’s vivid which is nice I love ‘slip through fingers’ (I think I said it in a poem I wrote today lol)
‘Pulled a vein from my wrist’
Is my favorite line
It just
Wow
I don’t have much critiques tbh
I like it a lot
I liked the other one too but this is better imo. I can see the improvement in your year

[little knoll]

haha yeah thanks

I write alot

I kinda borrowed the "pulled a vein from my wrist" line from another poem 😭

But this poem is a sequel to it of sorts

[short rapids]

Was to another poem of yours?

[little knoll]

mhm

[short rapids]

I like to do it too
I wrote this one poem and I lowkey like to reference it in my other poems
It’s kinda fun like a little poem universe

[little knoll]

https://discord.com/channels/944439929734312006/1412249068725473370 is kind of a prequel

[short rapids]

Well it’s still a good line from whatever poem it’s from

[little knoll]

I create a universe every few months

And write a bunch of cohesive poems with the vibe

[short rapids]

Mine aren’t like a story that goes together but I reference it
I wrote a poem called nine lives when I was with my bf

And now that I’ve got ghosted I kinda redeemed it in my heartbreak poems
how it was supposed to be nine lives and we didn’t even survive one

[short rapids]

Ooooh

[little knoll]

So last Winter/Spring I had a very existential apocalyptic world (the wanderstuck poem was from that), over the summer I wrote some mythic poems, and now I'm doing spooky poems

They're kinda like albums the way I plan writing them

[little knoll]

that's ironic

[short rapids]

How so

[short rapids]

Ooooh I love that

[little knoll]

I mean like funny

Or tragic more accurately

is a better way to describe it

it was supposed to 9 lives but could barely last 1

[short rapids]

Fr it’s ironic

Tragically comical

[clever lance]

as someone who adores creative and beautiful metaphors, i am absolutely obsessed with how well you were able to just capture every feeling is such a unique way

[past halo]

Stanza 1: this is really vivid, the attention to detail is very precise here. very clear and the emotion is amazingly portrayed.

stanza 2: honest and really sad. i love how yk, it has magic and love. who else can go wrong with that? very great stanza.

stanza 3: i like this stanza, the contrast in this is very well made. the rhymes too are very great. my favorite stanza

stanza 4: the ending is perfect. the emotions stick into the reader and very unique. the metaphors you've used in the poem were some of the best ones I've seen in the server.

overall: this is pretty amazing man. super immersive, I love it.

[mossy barn]

Woah. This is actually really incredible. Your eyes almost go to the next like before your mind completely understands what is being said. It draws you in and it’s powerful. This is spellcraft my friend. You are lighting your lamp for others with this and that is special. Keep doing your thing, you are meant for greatness. Your words drip with meaning and story. When a poem can make one’s hairs stand on end…..yeah. You’ve got it, you can do the thing. ❤️ 🏮 I love this so much.

[wind swift]

Wonderful! @mossy barn has just progressed to level 4!

[little knoll]

Thanks. I'm glad to hear this poem lives up to the spellcraft it speaks of 😅. I'm now also realizing this is some of my best work, and I'm happy to see it appreciated

[ivory glacier]

@split prairie is now following @little knoll.

[split prairie]

yeah i have no words

its great

[leaden smelt]

"you craft novels, and i conjure rhyme" wow this simple line holds such a deep contrast. novels feel structured, lasting...while rhymes feel fleeting, musical n momentary. it’s not just ab diff forms,it’s abt diff ways of loving, diff ways of existing. "i’m an easily enchanted man and you’re a gentleman with a gentle hand" mann this confession is so tender. yr admitting how quickly and deeply you feel, while he remains composed, gentle but maybe distant. it’s a dynamic painted with sm grace and yearning

[little knoll]

Yeah. I'm glad to see you enjoyed the poem

The guy I wrote this about, he stories are very good. But he said his poems aren't as much. I have the opposite issue. So I thought of this line, but it also speaks to the lack of confidence I have compared to this person

I don't know him that well but I did write this poem fantasizing very deeply

@wicked thunder

[leaden smelt]

wow that’s honestly… really beautiful. and it makes the poem even more layered now that u’ve shared that. but lemme tell you! what you call a “lack of confidence”… it doesn’t read that way here. it reads like reverence. like 2 diff kinds of magic recognizing each other. u didn’t just fantasize,u honored both ur voice and his. and that’s not weakness. that’s a kind of emotional generosity a lot of artists never learn

keep writing toward what moves you

[little knoll]

Yeah. I think I sell myself short sometimes

I can recognize though, that this poem is some of my best work

I would show it to the muse, but I'm too nervous to do so (as referenced in the fourth stanza)

I guess in that way the poem itself kind of is the poet's potion

[hard ferry]

*I guess in that way

the poem itself kind of is

the poet's potion*

- 66.88% nouhs8