vanishing point | The Art of Poetry | Page 1

misty zinc · 2025-10-21T09:39:18.101Z

some notes: - i mostly wanted to approach my relationship to personal value (“worthless[ness]”), without dismissing the feeling altogether. - originally, this was a simple free verse work but i felt like it was too floaty and needed some structure. so instead, i shifted it into the form of a dictionary entry (of which i have made a series of). this form allows me to play around with meaning, and how i make sense of things. - lines 7 and 8 feel a bit iffy to me because they feel like filler—like listing things for the sake of listing them, so i’ll return to them later on.

misty zinc Oct 21, 2025, 9:39 AM

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some notes:

i mostly wanted to approach my relationship to personal value (“worthless[ness]”), without dismissing the feeling altogether.
originally, this was a simple free verse work but i felt like it was too floaty and needed some structure. so instead, i shifted it into the form of a dictionary entry (of which i have made a series of). this form allows me to play around with meaning, and how i make sense of things.
lines 7 and 8 feel a bit iffy to me because they feel like filler—like listing things for the sake of listing them, so i’ll return to them later on.

primal thorn Oct 21, 2025, 9:41 AM

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Nys

misty zinc Oct 21, 2025, 9:55 AM

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primal thorn Nys

?

dull forge Oct 21, 2025, 6:01 PM

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This is very interesting. I like the structure and the way the definitions yield to a kind of narrative. Introducing “i” in the third stanza is a smart choice pacing wise and turns the poem nicely. Reintroducing the definition in quotes in 18 is clever and satisfying. Nice ending, bringing the birds back in. I think you may have a point about 7 and 8. 7‘s “do not” feels like a repetition too far, and both are a little light on their own. But I think they could be combined into one stanza, which would underline the repetition as deliberate excess and beef both up a bit. Sorry if this is overly long – i’m new and it’s my first comment

misty zinc Oct 21, 2025, 11:45 PM

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dull forge This is very interesting. I like the structure and the way the definitions yield...

Yeah, that’s a good idea for 7 & 8! Though alternatively I might rewrite them completely as well, and utilize the space to develop the narrative more.

No worries about the length! I always appreciate detailed feedback, and I’m certain a handful of others do as well. Welcome to AOP mate! Thank you so much for taking the time to read my work ☺️

#vanishing point