Mother, forgive me.

[rustic thorn]

I'm crying because, I literally had a talk with my mother today and it was difficult. We argued and I keep trying to figure out what's going on, but I don't know what's going on. I feel like giving up, but I Don and I know that I can't, and somewhere deep down, I don't actually want to give up. You just summed it....is this a coincidence or a sign....

You wrote exactly what I want to say....I don't know why, it hits so at home IstG

[night galleon]

amazing. the emotional progresion is smooth and intuitive. you started with how you felt about her and how she wronged you. but along the way, it transforms into understanding and acceptance, beautiful. very relatable to our experience growing up seeing how our perspective of our parents changes.

[night galleon]

i understand this because i also have a poem about my mother too...

@true plume I wonder, have you shown this to her?

[true plume]

I don’t believe this was a coincidence, I’m sure you found this at the right time. I can only pray that you and your mother find resolution and growth, without holding onto grudges. You both have voices and minds; humans are intelligent creatures, and I hope you can understand and forgive one another. ❤️

[rustic thorn]

Thankyou

That means a lot to me

All I've done is write poems

And I've felt stuck with my relationships that I cannot escape

In any way

As for the rest, I've just never really opened myself up, except for some, when I didn't really care what would happen if I did open up

Idk what I should do tho

Should I write a letter to her

I defo can express myself better

In letters

[true plume]

I see. it’s an odd thing, growing older and realizing the depth of our interactions with our parents. But the best part is acknowledging it and growing within ourselves. We don’t have all the time in the world, so I think it’s good to restore what we’ve lost. If your poem about your mother is posted, I’d love to read what you poured into it.

[true plume]

Risk can be a good thing, especially when it’s uncharted territory for you emotionally. I think writing your mother a letter would be a wonderful idea mm it allows you to express yourself freely, without arguments or emotions becoming overwhelming. Sometimes, seeing your words on paper can help her understand you better. Whatever your heart feels is best, go for it!!

[true plume]

I haven’t shared it with my mother yet, though I do plan to when the time feels right.

[rustic thorn]

You should defo

[night galleon]

thats true. im glad were blessed with the capacity to escape the 'hate' towards our parents. I guess that it must be a phase in everyone's lives as they mature. I haven't posted the poem about my mother yet. Its about the changes i see in her after my father's passing. its really hard to see her like this

[true plume]

Maybe I will!! Though I will wait for the right moment, the poem will fall in her hands at the right time; just as your letter will.

[night galleon]

i understand. i havent shown mine as well. deep down I want her to know but due to the circumstances im in, i dont think im ready to show it to her. im afraid of what will happen

[true plume]

My condolences to your father. I know people often get trapped in their emotions, it’s hard. But I agree with you: maturing is learning to understand without the selfishness of holding onto hate. We’re all imperfect, all growing, all trying to interpret life the best we can. I can’t imagine how it feels to see your mother like that, but I hope you give her the love she deserves and that you both continue to grow and adapt together.

[true plume]

aha I couldn’t relate to you more. I’m just as fearful, but in due time we will be ready. Being afraid, fear, both are tough opponents but, “fear is a mild wide and an inch deep.” Maybe an outcome we don’t know the reactions to is how we can truly grow.

[night galleon]

best wishes to you. i pray that everything will go well between you and your mother. hopefully we'll both set aside our fears and just show our hearts to the person who first nurtured them.

[rustic thorn]

When I see my mother's picture books and things she'd give me like her jewelry or clothes, well made and with that soft scent only her clothes have, and when I look at her now, what she has become in this mess of life, I feel really....idk, Stabbed? She got married around 21 or 22 and struggled with a lot of things, and I don't have much to remember from my childhood...she'd just take out all the anger on me and when I tried to be close to her at times,.she'd just tell me to keep quiet and there's that cold distance between us. Even when I was little, if I made a mistake or did something wrong, she'd beat me or wouldn't talk to me for days...and even when I was little, I wasn't brought up on imagination or childhood ideals but realism was my fuel...well, I get her because I needed that to survive.

[true plume]

Yes, I’ll keep you in my prayers. It’s a beautiful thing, and I hope it blossoms into something even more beautiful. Allow the one who once nurtured you to now be nurtured by you. I believe in you and your mother. May your poem touch your mother’s heart as deeply as it has touched yours. ❤️

[rustic thorn]

And just like you mention in your poem, she raised me like no one, and loved like no other and gave me traits and character that only should could give, things that I will always treasure and things that will always be useful and necessary. She's given me things, impossible to give and rarest in nature.

But that distance, and what she has become now

All because of the cruelty that has always surrounded her

And what I have become

SIGHS

[true plume]

I see. That’s truly hard it sounds horrible and heavy to carry. Your perception and your interactions reflect a lot of depth. Sometimes love doesn’t know how to express itself, and it’s difficult being so young and having a child. Your mother is growing up alongside you she was, and still is, youthful just like you. I don’t know your family or your experiences, but I do know that you’re intelligent enough to understand both your situation and hers. From here, you can choose to give her love — not hate, not grudges. If you keep interacting the same way, you’ll keep getting the same outcome. It won’t be easy, and it may take time for both of you to move beyond this kind of love. But a new love can bloom — one that’s deeper, more affectionate, and filled with peace and understanding, if you both put in the work to change. I hope you have the courage to write that letter to one day give it to her.

[rustic thorn]

Sometimes they just place so much expectations on me...I literally just turned 15 last month and, there are things that no matter how many times you are told, you have to learn them for yourself. I have said horrible things to her, like she mentioned that I didn't allow her to sit with me once. And she just left, I didn't even remember that and when she mentioned it, it hit me like a truck. I didn't mean it. And there must be other things I've forgotten too...and yes, I do get what you are saying, I know that. But it can really be difficult, especailly as I really struggle to understand emotions, even of my own...I don't know if its my autism or whatever or is it normal, everyone goes through it or not but yeah, thars the case. I guess that's why I'm struggling with myself a lot too...what can I solve if I cannot even figure out myself...

[gloomy grove]

Wonderful! @rustic thorn has just progressed to level 2!

[true plume]

You’re still growing and maturing, you’re quite young, and some things you simply have to experience for yourself, as you said. You could read the same book over and over and still discover something new each time. The same goes for the words people tell you — hearing them again can bring new understanding. But ultimately, you have to live it, to try it. We never truly know the answers until we put them into practice, and that takes time.

It’s easier said than done, but you’ve already taken the first step by acknowledging it. Don’t overwhelm yourself trying to fix everything at once. If it weren’t difficult, it wouldn’t be meaningful — it’s hard because it requires choices.

Eririan, you have an incredible mind and valuable experiences that will help you achieve whatever you set your heart on. You have power over one person — yourself — so take full control of that. From here, take one thing you’ve learned and keep stepping forward. Even if you don’t fully understand the problem yet, move with what you know. Small steps will lead you to growth. Don’t give up on yourself

[gloomy grove]

Wonderful! @true plume has just progressed to level 2!

[rustic thorn]

Yeah

I'm trying

I'll keep trying, because I'm not the kind of person to turn a blind eye to things, because that's what makes me grow.

[night galleon]

Give yourself more time to experience it all yourself. there's no way for anyone to tell if everything is right or wrong. just keep going even if you dont know. eventually, you will know better. your 'mistakes' are actually seeds for love to grow. you will realize that they can be the catalyst to grow your love. i've once yelled at my father involuntarily. at first i didnt understood why he sulked - looked pretty immature to me. But later in life that I know why and since then I tried to love him more. its the same with your situation right now. with time, you will understand. you cant force it

[gloomy grove]

Wonderful! @night galleon has just progressed to level 1!

[true plume]

Precisely, but don’t overwhelm yourself too much — trying is already enough. Some days will be harder than others, and that’s okay. Don’t force yourself to fix a relationship too quickly; healing and understanding take time.

[rustic thorn]

Yeah, I agree.

Thankyou

[night galleon]

@rustic thorn thats true. most 15 year olds would be stuck on that first sentence until they are much older. you have the heart and mind to see beyond just what you see and feel. thats a blessing that most people might never taste.

[rustic thorn]

Thanyou. I get that a lot. For whatever reason. I guess that's why they expect me to do all that which I need time to truly understand...I wouldn't know for real though.

[night galleon]

@true plume thanks for sharing your poem here and thanks for sharing your experience @rustic thorn . Im glad I read it. chatting with both of you inspired me to add something more to the poem about my mother. may god bless both of you and your families.

I'll share my poem soon when im ready.

[rustic thorn]

You too, May God bless you and your family and your whole generation and may He swt guide you to the right path.

[true plume]

You’re both amazing individuals!! I’m glad my poem found its way to both of you, and that we were able to have such a deep conversation together.

[rustic thorn]

Sure, I'd love to read it, and maybe, just maybe I'll share my letter too.

[rustic thorn]

Indeed. It really makes no sense to me that you literally, I mean LITERALLY said what was going through my mind and heart. And at the right time.

You are also an amazing person.

[true plume]

When you write more of your poem, I hope you do it with peace — peace within yourself. God bless you.

[rustic thorn]

Thanks @true plume and @night galleon , for listening to me and responding to me with this much care. I'm really grateful to you, and I'm grateful for your guidance.

[true plume]

When you go looking for something, you often begin to see it in everything. You saw it for a reason — let it awaken you, and let your letter be written with your heart and soul.

[night galleon]

go for it. we'll be looking forward to it!

[true plume]

Anytime, you can totally dm and talk to me whenever. I’d love to converse with you more. ❤️

[rustic thorn]

That's true, I've experienced it for myself and understood it for myself, so many yikes, in so many ways hahaha.

[rustic thorn]

Me too.

^^