2 types of people ❁

[shrewd cypress]

2 types of people

There are two kinds of people—
Those who take everything,
Yet still give nothing,
And those who give all they have,
When they’ve got nothing to hand.

The world isn’t black and white,
It’s all shades of grey.
That’s what they say—
But look in their eyes,
Can’t you see the lies?

My shirt’s stained red,
Knife in my back.
I thought you were a friend—
Was it all an act?
It feels rehearsed,
This betrayal hurts worse.

But I won’t ever regret—
I helped, not hurt.
You’ll never be in my debt,
Even if you ruined my shirt.
You cut instead of healed,
Your true colors revealed.

I will keep caring,
If I don’t, who will?
Hate keeps spreading,
Love needs to be built.

@mossy ocean

@safe wing @swift crypt @main coral @sick compass

[mossy ocean]

there is a lot of emotion conveyed and creative rhymes, amazing!

middle school level

jkjkjk

[shrewd cypress]

._>

I am

[swift crypt]

honestly…. I really like it despite the middle school level stuff of axi saying 😒(be nice)

[mossy ocean]

ur in middle school?

[mossy ocean]

I'm jspppoo

but fr the hurts worse rhyme with rehearse was sooo tuff

😩😩😩

[shrewd cypress]

No

Nuh uh

Nu uhhhhhh

[mossy ocean]

?

[shrewd cypress]

Do not use that emoji agian

[mossy ocean]

😫😫😫

[shrewd cypress]

._.

.___.

[mossy ocean]

😂

😣😣😣

[shrewd cypress]

Im gonna find where u live

[swift crypt]

I’m scared of u.. now 😭😭

[swift crypt]

do it >:)

[mossy ocean]

why?

[swift crypt]

KIDDING

IM KIDDING… am I…

[mossy ocean]

8334, Forest ridge Rd, spring Texas

[swift crypt]

WHAT

See that’s some fake address lol-

[shrewd cypress]

I dont trust thhat tbh

[mossy ocean]

why?

[swift crypt]

waitttt axiom UR 18+?

😨

[mossy ocean]

no

I'm 16

[shrewd cypress]

Aha

[swift crypt]

ur not?

[shrewd cypress]

There it is

[swift crypt]

WHAAA

[mossy ocean]

?

[shrewd cypress]

No one under 18 knows thier exsact adress

[swift crypt]

but it says 18+ U TROLL

[mossy ocean]

😂

[mossy ocean]

I am very intelligent

[swift crypt]

ngl u look 16 tooooooo anyways

[shrewd cypress]

OMG IM LEVEL 15555

Yay

https://tenor.com/view/noodlekitty-noodle-kitty-wiggle-gif-22965962

[swift crypt]

Woaaaa congratssss

[shrewd cypress]

Tyyy

[swift crypt]

IM KIDDIJG

[shrewd cypress]

U sureee???

[swift crypt]

DAMN.

[mossy ocean]

u seen me?

[mossy ocean]

si

[shrewd cypress]

They have a camara in ur house

[shrewd cypress]

Ah puedes hablar español?

[mossy ocean]

ni e

nice

[mossy ocean]

si

[shrewd cypress]

Quieres hablar español con migo e ignoramos a ivy

Nah jk im not that mean

[mossy ocean]

😡

[shrewd cypress]

Poor ivy, shes so nice

[mossy ocean]

for real

[shrewd cypress]

Thats why i allways tag her

Well tbh its alsoo bc i dont have enough followers to do /notify but who cares

[mossy ocean]

😭😭

hey it's okay

[shrewd cypress]

Follow me then

Not irl ofc

[mossy ocean]

bet

irl

[indigo flax]

@mossy ocean is now following @shrewd cypress.

[mossy ocean]

follow back?

[shrewd cypress]

Bet find me first

[shrewd cypress]

Sure

[mossy ocean]

mo

no

[indigo flax]

@shrewd cypress is now following @mossy ocean.

[mossy ocean]

thank you

[shrewd cypress]

Yw

[swift crypt]

Yea on ur poetry book…..

[mossy ocean]

oh yeah

I'm quite handsome right

jk

[shrewd cypress]

,pfp

[keen cedar]

azars.txt

_axxiom.'s avatar

[shrewd cypress]

U sure abt that @mossy ocean

Btw I see u online

So don't u daré ignore this

[mossy ocean]

yes

so handsome

[runic loom]

i rlly lik the ideas represeted in this it reminds me of 2 of my own poems mashed together

[sick compass]

this is soooo good and OMG the last two linessss love them so true

[shrewd cypress]

@acoustic ibex

[shrewd cypress]

Ur on a poetry book

@mossy ocean

?????

[acoustic ibex]

Yep. Bro's self-published.

[shrewd cypress]

Hmmm

Whats the name of the bool

K

[shrewd cypress]

Hello?

[acoustic ibex]

I forgot actually. Lemme check real quick.

[runic loom]

ddlc fan?

[acoustic ibex]

Landon's Mythos of Love and Life.

[runic loom]

i read bio

[acoustic ibex]

There's also the 'Doki' on my username 😅

[runic loom]

yep

[acoustic ibex]

U too?

[shrewd cypress]

I got ignored 🥀

[runic loom]

col

[acoustic ibex]

@shrewd cypress

[shrewd cypress]

Ah

Mb

I skipped that

[acoustic ibex]

If thats fr, Imma write to you. I have a pen pal from Egypt anyways, and Indian mail will definitely work for USA if it works for Egypt. I'm down if you are.

[shrewd cypress]

Wait

@mossy ocean is dis u

[mossy ocean]

yes

why did u cover my face 😭

[shrewd cypress]

Ik how I look now

[shrewd cypress]

Idk I thought it was prohibited

[mossy ocean]

no it's fine

[shrewd cypress]

Do u want- ok

Dats u

[mossy ocean]

thank you

[shrewd cypress]

U look so angry

[mossy ocean]

no I look tuff

[shrewd cypress]

U look like u hate my entirety

And ur neck is wierd

Smile more

[mossy ocean]

is this better??

so vitriolic

[runic loom]

outta curiosity, how many poemz in da book?

i hope to someday be an authr but idk how many poems i need

I Kant spell lel typin to fast

[mossy ocean]

40~

[mossy ocean]

40

[runic loom]

how long r ur poems?

mine are a page

[mossy ocean]

that's a good amount but it depends on the poem

[mossy ocean]

wow it varies so much

short is like sonnets

but like I have several poems that are over 1000 words

[runic loom]

OH-

my longest one is 201 words-

[runic loom]

if you are cmfortable, how old were you when u published?

[mossy ocean]

16

[runic loom]

okay

[mossy ocean]

I published my book August 3rd 2025

[runic loom]

just 3 more yrs..

im 13

[mossy ocean]

you can publish now

[runic loom]

ik

i just dont ahve enough

[mossy ocean]

how many

[runic loom]

like 13 ish

[mossy ocean]

😭

you just have to think big when it comes to poems if y want longer ones

[digital salmon]

*you just have to think

big when it comes to poems if

y want longer ones*

- Axiom (Lotus / Landon)

[runic loom]

exactly most mine lant around 100 ~ 190

[mossy ocean]

that's good

mine are

let me see

imma average rq

[runic loom]

silly joek poems

[mossy ocean]

655.75 for like the series I'm working on is the average word count

[mossy ocean]

yeah well

I personally don't like joke poems 😭

[runic loom]

not gonna add them or if i do, appendix
(edit: def going in the appendix hell yeah)

[runic loom]

i normally write existential/absurdist typa stuff also i pinged u in my poem

[mossy ocean]

I'll read

I already read it

[runic loom]

oh-

hol up

[shrewd cypress]

God my eyes

They hurt

[mossy ocean]

🖕🖕🖕

[acoustic ibex]

Bro don't release that on Discord 😭

You never know what people might do with it!

[acoustic ibex]

Looking mighty fine tho.

[shrewd cypress]

U need to smile more

U look like an amargado

Also what is that jacket

R u a hippies

[mossy ocean]

🤨

[mossy ocean]

thank lmao

[acoustic ibex]

I'm too cowardly to share stuff publicly unfortunately 😭

I look too much like a bureaucrat anyways 😅

[shrewd cypress]

His image is already on amazon

[mossy ocean]

u need to not call people ugly like what the heck

[shrewd cypress]

I didnt say u were ugly

I said u looked mad

[acoustic ibex]

A Republican Hippie. Could you imagine? 😭

[shrewd cypress]

Those r like 2 deff diffrent things

[acoustic ibex]

Probably said in good fun mate.

[mossy ocean]

u said God my eyes they hurt

[shrewd cypress]

I was kidding

They dont actually hurt

[mossy ocean]

okay

[acoustic ibex]

@mossy ocean buddy. I've started a series too!

https://discord.com/channels/944439929734312006/1425496182129557544

Wanna see?

[shrewd cypress]

This poem has 200 messages and only 5 stars

Thats sad

[acoustic ibex]

Its mostly chat. Plus we're not hyper competitive about stuff like that.

[mossy ocean]

YOOO THATS FIRE

[shrewd cypress]

Mostly chat, its like 99% chat

[mossy ocean]

NOW WE BKTH HAVE A SEITES TO INVEST TO AJD WE ARE FRIENDS

I can't wait to read when I get home so I can concentrate

school isn't ideal rnnn

[acoustic ibex]

Of course. Thanks for the enthusiasm mate 🙂

[shrewd cypress]

Is mate australian or british?

[acoustic ibex]

Aussie, 'lad' is prolly Brit.

Indians use whatever fits the context though.

[shrewd cypress]

Hmmmm

Idk is dave auralian

[acoustic ibex]

I don't know.

[shrewd cypress]

Aw

[mossy ocean]

Philippines

[shrewd cypress]

Huh

[mossy ocean]

yk

the asian country

[acoustic ibex]

Oh.

Noice. I'll visit the Philippines someday I hope. My dad has friends there, and they say its a good place.

[shrewd cypress]

No I meant 'huh' like 'I didn't now, nice'

[humble oasis]

the 3rd stanza is very smooth

[mossy ocean]

phh

[shrewd cypress]

Smooth enough for a star?

[humble oasis]

oh does that matter?

im new lol

ill star anyways 😄

[shrewd cypress]

Hehehe it doesnt rly but i would love to get on starboard

[shrewd cypress]

Tyyy

[shrewd cypress]

Woah u joined today?!

[shrewd cypress]

U just star the poems u like im sorry if i sounded condecending tho

[humble oasis]

yeah haha

[humble oasis]

ohh i see hmm, that's great

[shrewd cypress]

Yep

Its up to u in the end

[shrewd cypress]

2 types of people ❁

[acoustic ibex]

Lets finally review this, shall we?

[acoustic ibex]

OK mate, you've tagged your poem under harsh criticism, so Imma be very blunt with you:

1. You had a good idea. The contradiction between good and evil, in whatever way or form, is an age old classic and is always something reader will like reading.
2. However, this poem is highly prosaic, so much so that it's difficult to read this as a poem.
3. Your poem needs to be more compelling. Consider Stanza 1 and 2. At present, it is a very basic 'here's a list of facts about people'. It doesn't have the power of expression required to make this sound compelling, you know what I mean? Like look, the points you're trying to make comes off as too direct. Good people are like this. Bad people are like this. This you need to do, because its the very premise of the poem. However, instead of approaching the poem like this, you could use vivid imageries or colorful metaphors to describe these people. The good people are angels (then describe the character traits), and bad people are serpents. This is highly simplistic ofc and you make take this to as many levels of complexity as you want, but this is what I mean. You need to have some flavour text instead of a simple school-teacher type of definition "This is Good, That is Bad".
4. Stanza 3 suddenly jumps into you being stabbed in the back. Well, artistic license, and I guess one can justify it by saying "it creates shock" (which is totally valid), but the thing is becoz the first 2 stanzas feel so underwhelming, the 3rd stanza is unable to deliver thr shock value you were going for. Instead, the shock is translated to confusion due to a sudden jump. In my opinion, what you could done instead is put stanza 3 first. We start off strong, with a person stabbed in the back. Then, we remake the OG stanzas 1 and 2 with better wording, and put it after our New stanza 1. This way, it comes across as the narrator thinking about good vs evil as they feel this sharp sting of betrayal. But then, we keep stanzas 4 and 5 intact,

4. ... and convey "guess what suckers? I lived!". This makes your last 2 stanzas even more hard hitting. You refused to succumb to the hate you've felt. You recognized in (what appeared to earlier be) your dying breaths how Good and Evil operates, and consciously chose not to fall to the Dark Side. Instead, you chose to let this experience teach you a lesson and help you grow, a beautiful end to this poem.

5. In a more miscellaneous review, I love that fact that you've used your punctuations and capitalizations correctly! This helps a reader make out pauses and points of emphasis much much better. Thank you so much 🙏
6. And lastly, I do think your syllable count is very short. My opinion is that an average verse should have at least 6 syllables, because otherwise it feels too short or abrupt. You can chuck the meter if it feels too tough, just having 6 syllables as a minimum is good enough. Not saying that there can't be verses below 6 syllables BTW, but usually what happens is our brain tends to equally divides attention per verse. So, imagine I have 100 units of attention per verse. If I got 4 syllables, I'm putting 25 per syllable, but if I have 6 or 8, I'm putting 16.6 or 12.5. This might sound like an extremely nerdy analogy, but the point is to show that shorter syllabled verses make is pay more attention to those verses. As such, a poem which is consistently shorter than 6 syllables is like a textbook where everything is highlighted. Suddenly, the purpose of the emphasis is lost, and we're left more dazed and confused instead.

Still, I hope you don't feel disheartened by all this critique. Despite all this, I like the vision and can respect the execution! This was a valiant effort, and you definitely deserve to be lauded!

[shrewd cypress]

Oof