#Labour

52 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

pure steeple
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The candle flickers as sweat drips
Working tirelessly
To satisfy the hunger of my husband
Who never gave to the children
Only ate as we starved
Drinking the wine
Made from my blood and tears
I’ve had enough
But he has yet to lift a finger upon my children
So i must indure, for the sake of my bloodline
To survive and strive but god
Please let this labour lighten
Let my husband see karma
Let my children be free to express
For without any life outside of labour,
Will they know the difference
Between breathing in the crisp fresh air and
The air filled with cigars and the smell of smoke.
I wish to free my children of this horror
My callouses are cracking
From the rough brushing slaps
The back of your hand
Makes me want to scream into the forest
“Let me go, let me finally be happy!”
But nonetheless
You make me do too much labour

plush idolBOT
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pure steeple
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@sly plinth

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This is based off of the song "Labour" by paris ^^

sly plinth
pure steeple
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It is inspired by the song

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so i use no lyrics

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@trim edge

sly plinth
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**The candle flickers as sweat drips
Working tirelessly **

these lines show the dedication of a women working without rest for her family
**
To satisfy the hunger of my husband
Who never gave to the children
Only ate as we starved
Drinking the wine
Made from my blood and tears
**

these lines show that the man are often selfish and think about only themselves and don't give love to the women or the children (but I doubt about the children line idk why you wrote it) the line made from blood and tears show the depth of the poem

** I’ve had enough
But he has yet to lift a finger upon my children
So i must indure, for the sake of my bloodline
To survive and strive but god
Please let this labour lighten **

these lines are just pure emotions of women and also shows endurance but at the same time the power to destroy everything if situation demands it

Please let this labour lighten
Let my husband see karma
Let my children be free to express
For without any life outside of labour,

these lines show her praying to god but I am quite confused here because I am bad at understanding masterpieces

** Will they know the difference
Between breathing in the crisp fresh air and
The air filled with cigars and the smell of smoke.
I wish to free my children of this horror**

this shows that the women hate the smoke of cigars the husband use but still endure her and wants her child to be away from these sufferings

My callouses are cracking
From the rough brushing slaps
The back of your hand
Makes me want to scream into the forest
“Let me go, let me finally be happy!”
But nonetheless
You make me do too much labour

shows the pain of her but this was all her mind talking to her and she will most probably continue to suffer for her children and probably the respect of her family

@pure steeple

trim edge
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Domestic abuse poem, starts very quiet and meek, and gets angrier towards the climax hinting at maybe a turning point or outburst that's thematic and conclusive. Nice story arc! Subtle and gnawing just like the topic.

pure steeple
sly plinth
pure steeple
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Imma probably make a dramatic reading audio for this one, with like sound effects

sly plinth
pure steeple
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Im going to make a audio of me reading this with some sound effects with what is mentioned in the poem

sly plinth
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kind of like drama?

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but audio only

pure steeple
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yeah!

sly plinth
pure steeple
sly plinth
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I love helping people

pure steeple
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@chilly grove

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@olive turret

chilly grove
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woah-

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das deep

pure steeple
chilly grove
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its so raw

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n powerful

pure steeple
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thank uuuu !

cold summitBOT
chilly grove
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vividly captures

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the pain

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suffering

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endurance

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also

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the desperation

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filled with the hope

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fo the children

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its honest n heat breaking

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yet

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strong

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beutiful

olive turret
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this is absolutely beautiful

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and I believe it's from the song Labour by paris?

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Very well written!

chilly grove
pure steeple
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thank you both so much!

pure steeple
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@timid hemlock

pulsar goblet
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Gut-wrenching and beautiful, your pain is seen, and your words strike the heart.
May your burden ease, and your children grow into the beauty you’ve poured onto the page.