#Button eyes with bliss coated in lies

103 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

obsidian furnace
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Collab with @olive mantle

Inspired by coraline and Halloween! This was so fun I loved it

The sky darkens and the trees dance
I see the moon grin and the pumpkin glance
I see the people on the street
They've stopped at a house to trick-or-treat

No treats for me, I've always been tricked
Life for me has just never clicked
Tonight I go in my costume- hidden
And enter the house that's forbidden

With this costume on, I let myself pretend,
That i'm a different person, not one thats a dead-end
I put on a mask that fits too perfectly
As I peek inside and take a step fervently

The house reeks of something familiar
And I step forward to see a shadow figure
A black cat greets me, its eyes wide and aware
Its bad luck, but I'm not going to despair

The black cat comes close and guides me
A lady hums in the kitchen is what I see
She hums a soft tune, its joyfullness fills the room
It makes me recall a childhood that was taken from me too soon

One more step forward I dare to take
Dreading the lady isn't one to be fake
But she turns around, buttons for eyes
It creeps me out, but i don't want to say goodbye

The warm smile has caught my heart
And now from her I don't want to be apart
My mother with buttons for eyes
With a smile that speaks nothing but lies

noble templeBOT
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@olive mantle has sent a notification! - @tulip turtle @jolly dune @severe gust @solemn blaze @hot trail @austere karma @solemn lantern @novel kindle @dense birch @calm pecan @slate salmon @fervent elbow @ionic hamlet @amber edge @tranquil coral @nocturne owl @fickle leaf @covert gust @royal plover @fluid raven @solar frigate @raven aurora @wheat pond @plucky violet @dense mortar @shut rover

obsidian furnace
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Button eyes with bliss coated in lies

olive mantle
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<@&1145760802666717234>

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<@&1144090752457113794>

errant stone
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YOOOOOOO

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THIS SH*T IS GOATED, MY GUY @olive mantle @obsidian furnace

obsidian furnace
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YAYAA TYY

errant stone
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im ngl, when i clicked on it i was expecting some free verse nonsense, but this is dope as hell

obsidian furnace
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AYY TYSM

errant stone
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"no treats for me, I've always been tricked" 🔥 🔥 BARSSS

obsidian furnace
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HEHE MY LINE

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I LOVE THAT LINEEE

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The last bit is my fav tho and that was written by @olive mantle

broken sailBOT
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*The last bit is my

fav tho and that was written

by @bdjkcuqvowibq*

- s1lly_cats
obsidian furnace
errant stone
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but clicked feels like a forced rhyme, so how bout y'all kick that line out and replace it with "

No treats for me, they only trick me
Hide rocks inside the candy they give me
Tonight I arrive in a costume, hidden,
Enter the house silently, unbidden"

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how do u like that @obsidian furnace @olive mantle

errant stone
obsidian furnace
errant stone
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the last couple of stanzas go crazy dark but it's still rly cool stuff

obsidian furnace
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Coralines a dark story when u think ab it so thats what we were going for hehe

errant stone
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what is coraline :D

olive mantle
olive mantle
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and deep

olive mantle
obsidian furnace
# errant stone what is coraline \:D

Its a stop motion movie by Henry selick and a book! Its a story ab a girl w neglectful parents who enters a portal to another world thats supposedly "perfect"

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There's so many hidden messages in it and theories , sm detail its been my fav movie since I was younger

olive mantle
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it's a really good movie u should check it out @errant stone

olive mantle
errant stone
olive mantle
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thanksss

obsidian furnace
olive mantle
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@nova spruce @winter merlin

nova spruce
olive mantle
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the cloth one

nova spruce
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it’s my introduction poem

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usually not my style

olive mantle
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can I ask what's your style

nova spruce
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a bit more narrative

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less abstract

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heavily influenced by @verbal sentinel

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❤️

olive mantle
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oooo are you both friends

nova spruce
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more than friends

olive mantle
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you should do a collab with him then

nova spruce
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mmm

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may b

olive mantle
olive mantle
verbal sentinel
olive mantle
wild laurel
# obsidian furnace Collab with <@1024306379533598832> Inspired by coraline and Halloween! This was...

Its good
Wearing a mask to hide yourself
Trying to be another person just to hide your real self
Scared but try to be in character
But the mask couldn't conceal your real self and character
It slowly takes over
Its too bad it's already over
Its really good
You can add somethings to make it rhyme and try to write something that compliment eachother
Like
The black cat comes close and guides me, i get a little nervous but still want to see what it has behind it or something
My opinion

olive mantle
olive mantle
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@errant stone hi feedback sir?

errant stone
olive mantle
olive mantle
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@polar forge hi could you read this poem

polar forge
proven bisonBOT
olive mantle
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@void frigate heyyy long time no talk how have you beennn and saw ur pfp so thought you might like this

broken sailBOT
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*Im really sorry

if im coming across as

rude or anyhting*

- victorfreakenstein.
polar forge
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I read your message wrong im so sorry

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I thought you were asking for advice, im a bit dense💔

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The poem was fun overall

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I liked it

polar forge
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(The advice from when i misread when you tagged me :3)

Im a bit tired so im really sorry that i cant think of anything more productive to say, but my main advice would be to remember that your poem is a form of art, not just words on a page.

I overall really liked it; the language was nice and the imagery was really vivid- but i couldnt help but feel like, idk, like the structure wasnt crafted in any particular way. The main way i mean this is with the way punctuation is used (or rather, isnt used in most cases.)

When you read poetry, you don't read to the end of a line, you read to the end of a sentence, and whilst enjambment can be cool for creating certain effects, alot of the instances of it here didnt seem to have purpose and/or caused it to be difficult to see because the sentences didnt really make much sense.

So uhh yeah... im sorry if i sound really nit-picky, im kind of struggling to think of anything else to say.

olive mantle
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and I really appreciate it thank you so very muchhh

olive mantle
olive mantle
polar forge
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Wait i just realised that full-stop is a british term and you might nkt be british

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End sentences with a 'period'

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I hate that places call things different names to other places it makes life more difficult than it needs to be💔

olive mantle
olive mantle
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I'm not one to use full stop so.. like not often

polar forge
olive mantle
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can I read one of your peoms

polar forge
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Let me just find them

olive mantle
olive mantle
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thanks for the honesty btw

polar forge
olive mantle
polar forge
# olive mantle thanks for the honesty btw

Im reallt sorry if im coming across as blunt or rude, i really dont mean to, im autistic and am sometimes awful with tone if im not like, actively putting it on for a character voicr

olive mantle
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😭

noble templeBOT
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@olive mantle is now following @polar forge.

polar forge
olive mantle
polar forge
olive mantle
obsidian furnace
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@olive mantle @tidal herald wants to make a song out of the poem :3

tidal herald
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🙂

olive mantle
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thank youuu

void frigate
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As a Coraline lover this poem is INSANE 🪡