#Lies

5 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

vernal quest
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They had known him all these years
So when the time came, they decided to
Peel back the layers to see
The person they had been making
Underneath

So one by one,
They peeled back the layers
But only found more of the same

"There must be something here," they said
So they continued through the layers

When they finally found something different,
They at first were slightly repulsed
"There's surely something much better underneath,
If this is what's above." So they continued
To go through his layers

But as they continued, they only grew to hate what they found
More and more.

They finally started tearing him apart,
To get to what they were sure
Was underneath

When they had finally peeled back the last layer,
There was nothing underneath
Except wisps of smoke
From the ghost hiding inside

"Why," they cried,
"Why is there nothing here?
Who have we been seeing all this time?
Was the truth we always thought we saw underneath
A lie?"

The ghost looked up from the darkness it was hiding in
To those who had known his shell
All this time
"This is what's here," he said,
"This is who's been hiding underneath
All this time.
The truth is that the layers never were the lie,
I was the lie."

He turned away,
And without looking back,
He faded away
As they looked at the layers
Shredded on the ground.

-# © whereisthedefect 2025

crisp orbit
# vernal quest They had known him all these years So when the time came, they decided to Peel b...

The language and structure is accessible which makes it highly readable. As a reader, I enjoy how it flows as well as how all the stanzas and ideas connect. Really interesting ideas and depth as well. Ofc it's not clear exactly what the concept is but I still love it, it feels very raw and real. I find the ‘emptiness’ or ‘mask’ being described fascinating. The metaphor about shedding layers is beautiful and works very well. That last image is very haunting, I don't know if that was the intention. I'm not the biggest fan of any kind of horror but overall I enjoyed reading this and think there's a lot to chew on for a reader.

vernal quest
#

Oh no, I was not going for a haunting aspect at all
More just ominous and despairing?

vernal quest
crisp orbit
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I see where you are coming from. I think you might be right to add it here.