even though i'm kind of new, all i see is that it's relateable but the tone idk doesn't really sound right like somethings off, might be just me 🤷♂️
#I stand before the mirror
velvet current
lone saffron
hiii this is a great concept, a very popular one too! i would suggest you to dig deeper. standing before the mirror? ok but what's the mirror like? is it smudged, is it stained? do you see it or does it see you? you have some very nice concepts in there about 'chains' and 'failures' wanting to 'claw' your way out. elaborate, bring the mirror to life. you're on the right track!! just dig deeper and don't focus on rhyming it, describe it absurdly scarily weirdly. put that emotion raw like it is, don't simplify ittt. also, focus on the grammar a little bit just recheck before you finalise it. sometimes, in the flow of writing we forget to do that but just recheck that and u should be finee! hope that makes sense!! all the best!
velvet current
hiii this is a great concept, a very popular one too! i would suggest you to dig...
adding onto this, wouldn't a better addition to this be about trying so hard to dig yourself out of a hole you put yourself into and the hardships of it, etc? or would that just ruin the whole concept?
lone saffron
adding onto this, wouldn't a better addition to this be about trying so hard to ...
i think the addition can be whatever they want it to be, if it's about what you suggested then that's great as long as it's raw and 'living' :))