Forgotten Footnotes -Hydrae

[native goblet]

@craggy herald <@&1145760802666717234>

@candid palm @silver sky

@torn mountain

@nimble sluice @olive flint @zealous anvil @valid ruin

[candid palm]

It's really good

-# sorry, I'm just not into poetry for now

[native goblet]

It's fine I get it 🫶 hope you get better

[willow locust]

an animated corpse, with every impression of living yet only existing..

[native goblet]

Is that the review? if yes thankyou 🫶 that is what I was trying to showcase 🫂

[willow locust]

it’s a felt one and well written

love how the first stanza and the last stanza’s both use the word “story”, but that the beginning stanza uses the words “your story” and the end uses the words “my story”.

such that meaning can be drawn from reading the end and then looping right back to the beginning // a cycle of grieving and remembering, reflecting like the subject of the poem that the speaker refers to would have hauntingly encouraged (self awareness)

maybe that doesn’t make sense but hope it does 😅

I would like to better understand the second to last line.

“your imprint is the only thing that keeps the words flowing”

what does it mean ?

does it mean that if the end to the speaker’s story is nearing, then the “imprint” of the subject ( the “you” of the poem) is fading away in memory ?

[native goblet]

It does actually

[native goblet]

Yes. More like the imprint of that person keeps the poet going and without this person's imprint the poet wouldn't last long

@ionic olive

@versed trout

@rich lance

[rich lance]

that's actually a really beautiful poem

and it's so emotional and raw

[native goblet]

Thankyou 🫶

[native goblet]

@dusky willow @somber stream

@knotty flare

Here you go

[dusky willow]

This is so raw and heartfelt. I could feel every word, and it’s beautiful in its honesty.

[native goblet]

Thankyou 🫶

[somber stream]

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[somber stream]

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[native goblet]

😭👀 review??

<@&1145760802666717234>

[somber stream]

.

[somber stream]

the way you frame the beloved as divine and yourself as mortal amplifies the distance nd the in-evitability in loss & i like recurring 'story' imagery thingy which ties the piece together
goob poem Ms Hydra

if i were to suggest anything it would be to maybe tighten a few lines
just an example:
You left long ago and yet, the pain and anguish is still the same -> You left long ago, yet the anguish remains unchanged
(some phrases feel a bit drawn out, sharpening them could highten the impact)

andd you set up this contrast bw divinity nd morality early on- but it fades out in later stanzas which i think you could weave it back into ending 🤔
like suggesting that divine light was lost nd mortal is left to wither

[native goblet]

Aww thankyou. I'll look into those. They are actually great suggestions ❤️🫂

[manic isle]

@somber stream is now following @native goblet.

[native goblet]

@sturdy relic

[native goblet]

@meager totem

[meager totem]

the third is all it took to hook me in the poem

its the most real linee

[native goblet]

Thankyou Thankyou 😭🙏

[meager totem]

🫂