Suggestions for improvements?

[magic vine]

I just want some suggestions for it to improve/ or criticism(harsh or not)
Also I'm kind of new to poetry so I'm just trying out styles(in this case, villanelle)

[abstract tree]

It’s quite nice

Use of refrains

Extra line on final quatrain

Consistent theme throughout

Lack of punctuation probably purposeful

[magic vine]

Oh yea I think I forgot to add them😭

@rancid marsh honestly anything that you think is lacking?

[abstract tree]

For improvements: I’d recommend trying to add some rhythm or flow

[tranquil quartz]

*For improvements: I’d

recommend trying to add

some rhythm or flow*

- iamcoldaf

[rancid marsh]

Yep try to add more feelings into your work

[magic vine]

Oh okok

[abstract tree]

Refrains are nice but every stanza perhaps too similar?

More substance perhaps?

[magic vine]

Alright I'll keep that in mind

[rancid marsh]

What type of stanza you currently use?

[magic vine]

Wdym

[rancid marsh]

@magic vine like what stanza you mostly use I use fixed stanza like Limerick but I wanna change

[magic vine]

This is a villanelle

[magic vine]

I usually do a fixed stanza tho and this is just my first time trying this

@abstract tree can you comment on this one too?🙏🏼

[abstract tree]

👍

[abstract tree]

I like this one

[magic vine]

So it's good as it is?

[abstract tree]

I quite like it. The rhyme is gentle

[magic vine]

Okayy tqq

[short obsidian]

I like the poem it's rhyming structure is simmilar to what I like to write, The way you repeat the same lines is interesting too, though I'm not too sure how I feel about those

It's a good poem keep it up