Bleeding Kalaidoscopic

[fading harness]

I am the one who chose to breath in loss to pump hope.

Sacrificed pastels for just a chance of purple. True purple not the false, muddy kind.

Now the grey in your skin is fading and you bleed kaleidoscopic.

But you separated yourself from the palette. From the solid. From the clear, colourless. From me.

No structure. No control.

No way to truly know yourself.

[haughty terrace]

i like this, decent bit of vivid imagery i reckon, what made you write this and feel free to give the deeper meaning aswell!

[fading harness]

Thankyou :>> Its about how I tried to forget the 'darker' version of me that was ill and went through the hardest things in my life in order to just be the happier brighter version of myself but how that version of me is importand and the reason im still here and still may have a purpose in my mental wellbeing. written from the 'darker' version of me that had to fight. 'Darker' is just a way to explain it but she's not necessarily darker just the one who had to make harder choices and had to shut out happy things in order to be more controlled and less chaotic

[void sluice]

Wonderful! @fading harness has just progressed to level 7!

[fading harness]

For an explanation of the colours-
"Pastels" is a word i use to describe a kind of state of numbness. Not exactly numb, just safer. Feeling everything on a lesser scale in order to protect myself from harder, deeper feelings but also cutting off happier feelings. So the 'darker' version of me made the choice to sacrifice that safety in order to potentially feel better mentally.
"Purple" is sort of a metaphor for my true self that I lost when I became ill.
The false "muddy" kind is sort of like synthesised fake happiness that always ends up in being more mentally unwell as it is fake.
The "clear/colourless/grey" is like the "darker" version of me but again, she's not actually "darker" just more "sensible" and maintains structure.

[haughty terrace]

youre welcome! thats such a cool way of perspective you used, I get what you mean especially when referring to those sorts of "twin states" kinda thing, not twin as in alike, twin more in the sense of two sides of the same coin. I do hope you feel much better.

[haughty terrace]

i love the play with colours quite a lot, thank you for explaining!

and please write more 😄

[fading harness]

Yeah its kind of based on the "fragmented self" theory in psychology where it's believed everyone has multiple "aspects" of themselves that work together. (Not like DID- Its a theory to understand all people's brains)