Abundance

[oak sorrel]

After school I would wander in the forest
The trees whispered softly in the breeze
Dappled sunshine, birdsong, bees
in a little glade with flowers
I would sit down on a bench, alone

And look down at my phone
To friendly messages and messages of stress
To updates that sparked my inadequacy
with the semblance of abundance

Abundant wealth, abundant health
Abundant love, abundant wit
An abundance that in growing I had not

But then I would awaken to the trees
Their soft trembling of leaves
They spoke of enough and afterthought
and wisdom and of breath

I return today to that spot
and that tree, a little taller now
where you kissed me first, that time
Abundance gained in a moment

[halcyon arch]

This is so beautiful, it really shows that you are such a bright person. Keep making these, they are so special! 😄 ❤️

[oak sorrel]

aww thank you!!

[brittle nest]

I like the subtle change in rhythm and lyricity that comes at "And look down at my phone" with the stanza break. Can easily feel the ease of the first, the penultimate, and the last stanzas of being at peace amidst nature compared to the staggered rhythm of short, repetitive phrases that come from the phone.

[oak sorrel]

thank you so much!

[warm ledge]

I love how calm it feels throughout the poem I really like it keep it up ❤️

[oak sorrel]

@fallen cypress @vocal anvil @tame wolf @tawny flax

[tame wolf]

Awwww🥺🥺 it's such a sweet moment of remembrance. Makes me feel lovely. I imagined two things here.

1. You are reminiscing about a love that has ended, but with a smile as if reliving the happy moment but a silent acceptance of why it ended.

2. Going back to the place where you first felt love, a positive feeling and thinking back to that time.
   In both scenarios and interpretations, it is a feeling extremely comforting and silently happy.

I loved it a lot, it's so simply beautiful, capturing moments of silent remembering that most don't even notice.🫶🏼☺️

[oak sorrel]

yes it's both going to the spot alone and remembering what happened later, and how the phone world is so different

[tame wolf]

I see I see, I focused more on the remembering part of it. Now that I look at it as a whole, I see how the comparison between the digital world and real, lively world gives it so much depth. I loved it.🫶🏼

[tawny flax]

"updates that sparked my inadequacy with the semblance of abundance" the Semblance of abundance is kinda a perfect way to describe the illusion of social media,make itt looks full but leaves you empty. "I return today to that spot and that tree, a little taller now" the tree grew and so did you 🥹 the parallel here is chef’s kiss!

[brave forum]

Well done! 🔥🔥