rotund rock
My mouth was dry like a desert,
along with throat that pained like sand.
Hours became days, legs started to decay,
as I laid on the ground, praying for rain.
Buckets I carried left and right,
seeking for water.
Yet instead of pure liquid,
the bucket was given dust and granite.
Collapsing like a building,
throat was so dry, I couldn't make a whimper.
The flies deconstructed me,
making me a wither body.
barren knot
Hey
hollow hamlet
My mouth was dry like a desert,
along with throat that pained like sand.
Hours b...
beautiful in its delicate picture of a dryness forgotten
sick juniperBOT
hollow hamlet
i got a poem, too, about forgotten decay in rooms no neon can gild because they are corroded, their residents tormented by sickness and nausea, never acknowledged, forced to work despite it all
barren knot
I think you could make a connection of the bucket and you
It needing water to have meaning
You needing it to survive
You both after all are being given dust and granite
You could make it a metaphor
You could also make better comparisons. Making things more desert themed
Collapsing like a building doesn’t connect or make sense. Building aren’t meant to collapse.
Maybe you could put “dune” or “prey”
Deserts eat people after all
Or even “Carrion”
“Collapsing like a carrion”