#Cannot put it to words.

11 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

sturdy forum
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Your presence colours my world,
and absence puts an end to it.
I wake up hoping to see you,
and sleep hoping to wake up.
Daydreaming during the light,
and having lucid dreams at night,
all about you, wishing for them to come true.

You are the one I wish
to be with me all day,
all day in my eyes.
Is that too selfish?
But I am no one,
unlike you, whose radiance captures everyone.
Who am I to capture it, and keep it for me?

You are free,
made from stars just like me, but I am not,
not until you free me from the misery
I brought upon myself.
Till then, I am one,
lone in this world.

The misery I talked about,
made up of many feelings,
but society shortened it to one.
People seem to have a name for it:
Love, whatever that is.

I don’t know any fancy words.
I don’t know how to be elegant or          eloquent.
But what I do know is,
this misery cannot be put to words.
So please free me from it,
That will be the best gift.

Hey!!
I do know this is like very not good structural wise but i tried 😅😅

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@tulip vale wrote one after a long time

sand shell
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Oh I love it so much actually it's amazing

wild barn
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hey! i really liked reading this, there’s something so honest and pure about it. you can tell it came straight from the heart, and that always hits, also i really liked the way you described love as something you can’t fully name or explain it felt very real and human, i would say you captured that feeling of wanting someone so badly it becomes a kind of ache, and you did it in a way that was simple but really emotional. lines like ‘i wake up hoping to see you, and sleep hoping to wake up’ and ‘people seem to have a name for it: love’ were especially strong, they stayed with me truly, and honestly, don’t be too hard on yourself about structure. you already have something strong here: a clear voice and a consistent tone. if you ever want to take it further, maybe just try playing with spacing or line breaks to give some of the emotions more room to land. also, tightening up a few repeated phrases could make the punchy lines shine even moree, anyhow, for something you say you weren’t confident in, this has so much feelings, thank you for sharing itt

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prime haven
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desert thunderBOT
tulip vale
sweet halo
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this is beautiful