Fog

[floral jolt]

It rolls in from the ocean–
rolls in like a tsunami,
an unstoppable titan.

The expanse of unseen,
born of water and wind,
a primal beast, hidden within.

Misty hands blot out the sun
and cold breath nips skin.
A gentle touch, a light brush
and then–
loss of vision, loss of heart
Sirens blare–
but no one cares.
Consumed in that tidal wave,
what else is true,
but the cold, the water, the grave?

Daylight shies away,
wild goats bray.
In sets a feeling of doom,
caused by what feels like eternal gloom.

[floral jolt]

@wise robin

[devout shoal]

I had to read this one. For the obvious reason. :] Wonderfully written! Very immersive detail.

[floral jolt]

Thank you :) what a coincidence with the name

ty

[wet lily]

wow, i loved the visuals that you've created with this poem! it really helped me imagine what fog seemed like to the speaker. You not only describe the feeling of it approaching, but also the sensation of it on your skin; it's done beautifully and natural, with a sort of dainty feel.

in the whole of the third stanza, there's also lots of contrast, which i enjoyed reading

in general your poem seemed to really focus on that cool, vaporous feeling of fog (if that makes sense), but theres a hint of some sort of dread within that fog. you espeically highlight it with the last stanza, so props to you if that's what you were trying to do

i really liked it, good job :DD

[floral jolt]

Thanks for the review! must've taken pretty long to write lol

[ashen forge]

*Thanks for the review!

must've taken pretty long

to write lol*

- ahemitisi_22465

[floral jolt]

Perhaps you could consider following?🥺

[wet lily]

nope, js a few mins, so im glad you liked it!

[wet lily]

let me figure it out

[hollow needle]

@wet lily is now following @floral jolt.