Phases you left behind

[mossy pier]

i feel like some lines here are just for rhyming and have no meaning

also this "Unlike erase" doesnt make sense

theres also some grammatical errors

[flint mist]

Alright, thank you for your feedback!!! I’m not a professional as it I personally just wrote from past experiences/from my heart. However I will keep that in mind🫶🏻 it sounds better when I say it and use specific tones for each lines if you know what I mean 😭🫶🏻

[mossy pier]

i get u

[tough solar]

Continous rhyming, characteristic of early poet's works, (i would know, because i have been in this situation before, but this one's more grave.)
I had a lot of fun with the continous rhyming but had hard time finding a true meaning to these lines,
I dont know if it's just me that's having this issue.

[flint mist]

Thank you for your feedback I appreciate it, my poem was based mostly on a past experience or toxic relationship I was in, I think why my poem is confusing is because I’m the only one who knows the background which can lead to confusion to others, perhaps I should provide a background of the poem, what do you think?

The background is about a toxic relationship that I went through, I thought the aftermath would just be a phase and easy to get over, however it’s a long lasting “phase” that had a “face” in it once (a face I admired once upon a time aka the person I was in a toxic relationship with) the rest of the poem kind of revolves around trauma, emotional pain, you can erase the person but not the face/phases of the aftermath, my love was pure, but there is no cure for the aftermath of a breakup, can I endure the pain of betrayal?

You can’t ignore before- meaning you can’t ignore the memories and good times bc it’s apart of ptsd and you don’t forget, and even if you want to go back to them even after everything they’ve done, you can’t restore the before and what was there before all of the pain

You can’t run from a gun-voilence/ a start of an abusive or toxic relationship

The pain they inflicted cannot be undone because it has been done

When you in the cycle of the aftermath after a toxic relationship, you develop trauma depending on how bad it was, and can a phase have multiple faces, either you develop bad coping mechanisms or in this phase it feels like yo going through 10 different phases of pain/grief and guilt

I can explain the rest of the poem if you’d like, I type a lot and overexplain 😭 my deepest apologies 😭🫶🏻

[tough solar]

The concept of a toxic relationship already started making me gain a picture of what exactly was going on
The issue tho is the rhyming is overwhelming and distracts from the meaning it's trying to convey
The main point of a poem is to express yourself, explore a concept, an idea.
The rhyming can be fun for more laid back, playful poems but this one, that employs a deep meaning, could do better with a lot less rhymes.

Nonetheless, keep up the good work, i see the potential in much less serious contexts.