#(Onyx) whistle

4 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

summer halo
#

i deserve love, i think;
i don't need you to love me
but i deserve to be loved —

an ocean:-
it's filled with life coexisting
colours flooding but not
browning she
loves herself

she smiles
through crevasses and dimples,
in craters and holed cheese-blocks
it's not painful

the carpet is dry
for once her head isn't tilted
letting tears fell into fibres
wheels rest comfortably
and get stuck the 'normal' amount—

and she is loved:-
it begs on bruised knees;
illusions poor-white doves
that encircle her compass
and frail frame

she removed the wrist band
it doesn't hurt anymore-
she doesn't hurt anymore

i hope to not hurt anymore

sour craterBOT
#

@summer halo has sent a notification! - @drowsy fjord @surreal willow @flint sage @vernal kite @shrewd oyster @sand creek @lucid owl @sand creek @pure seal @native linden @lime pasture @raw vector

gaunt marsh
# summer halo i deserve love, i think; i don't need you to love me but i deserve to be loved —...

I noticed you said you tried to write "happy", and that's all well and good, but if you have any sort of inability to feel happiness that is a genuine concern, I do hope that if you need mental help then find it, you're not alone. But if you are just using poetry as an emotional outlet, I get it. But on the topic of the poem, its a very emotional, heartbreaking piece to read, um it may be disturbing to some, I didn't find it disturbing, but just an FYI. Overall the poem is what I believe to be an outstanding piece of "I don't care what you think, this is what I have to say" because you didn't hold back on any detail, nor did you care about rhyme schemes, consistent stanzas, and that is beautiful to me. On the surface this seems to be a poem about you, using her/she to convey yourself through the poem with not being able to feel "hurt" anymore, as well as releasing that pent up emotion, using vivid imagery of a carpet/rug. Overall, great poem, I like the not caring about the "rules" of a conventional poem and just writing what you feel, which is beautiful no matter the emotion.

summer halo