By the dawn
You were gone
But by light
You were here
More than a ghost
A reminiscing thought
As a lantern in the dark
You guided me through
More than my thoughts but
My heart and soul
You were gone by the sunrise
I was left to cry
In the dust you left me
As a ghost
You finally became
On my icy lips
Read my mind
As more than a thought
But as you are mine
#Icy Lips
tawdry anvil
shy estuary
This is truly beautiful. Are you open to feedback/questions?
tawdry anvil
yes i am!
shy estuary
Alrightyyy.
As I read this, I was quite confused as to the tempo of the poem. I couldn’t seem to find the right tempo.
I love the words, they are simple, which makes it easily accessible to read.
Is it on purpose, that you have used no punctuation, commas and so on?
“You were gone by the sunrise
I was left to cry
In the dust you left me
As a ghost”
I believe that if you were to add commas etc. it would make it far easier to read. Again- unless it is on purpose.
tawdry anvil
Alrightyyy.
As I read this, I was quite confused as to the tempo of the poem. I ...
im still figuring out that part of it since my style can vary from reader to reader so i guess its just how the reader thinks it should pause?