#Where She Still Breathes

67 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

velvet coral
#

So she raced toward the darkness,
arms wide to catch the fall,
hoping death would unite them
before life could tear them apart.

But life, cruel and cunning,
let him linger
while she slipped too far.

He awoke to a silence louder than screams,
her absence sinking into his bones
like winter that would never end.
Every breath was a wound,
every heartbeat a betrayal—
a world still turning without her footsteps

He searched for her in shadows,
in dreams that shattered on waking,
in echoes that mocked him with her name.
And when hope rotted into ache
he did not run from life—
he reached toward her,
choosing the fall she once chose
for the same love that refused to die.
And there they stood,
in a place where the moon spoke of no end,
Together again
Where destiny's hands had no power.
Two souls,
One universe rewritten by love

#

@cosmic rover
@obsidian cypress
@mighty vapor
@azure vortex
@torpid wraith
@rich olive

#

@green flint

#

@maiden burrow

#

@sand ocean

#

@onyx wedge

#

@cunning blaze

rapid tapirBOT
#

Wonderful! @velvet coral has just progressed to level 6!

velvet coral
#

@grave blaze

obsidian cypress
#

IN LOVE WITH IT

#

I LOVE THE TITLEEE

green flint
torpid wraith
#

Beautiful poem
Would re-read

onyx wedge
#

this is a good poem, very describing like an actual story

stone driftBOT
#

*this is a good poem,

very describing like an

actual story*

cosmic rover
#

"hoping death would unite them
before life could tear them apart. " 🔥🔥
"Two souls,
One universe rewritten by love"
Epiccc

#

you can delete the "So" from the first line, it's not really needed. You're beginning the poem, not continuing something soo

mighty vapor
#

yo this is so beautiful man

#

this poem deserves a star man

velvet coral
velvet coral
velvet coral
velvet coral
cosmic rover
velvet coral
#

Mhm

velvet coral
#

@green flint

#

Your views on this

green flint
#

Yeah it's beautiful

#

I already read this

#

🩷✨

velvet coral
green flint
#

Kind of ruins the flow of the poem

#

The fact that it is a continuation can be portrayed in a rather different way by giving some backstory

#

But starting a poem with the word "so" feels like you're going to give a speech

#

Ruins the rhythm as I said

#

So maybe work on that

grave blaze
#

Honestly, this feels complete and powerful just as it is. If you ever wanted to build around it, this could be a climactic moment in a longer narrative or a spoken word piece but even on its own, it’s the kind of poem that lingers long after it's read. You've created something timeless.

rich olive
#

🔥🔥🔥

#

Do I spy a romance writer?

velvet coral
velvet coral
#

@tribal latch

tribal latch
sand ocean
#

Your poem is so raw and powerful, I loved it.

velvet coral
#

Thankyouu

velvet coral
#

@primal otter

primal otter
#

OH MY GOD!!! HOW IS THIS SO GOOD😭💞 I love it!!!!!!! First stanza is my favourite!!!!💗💗🤌
I have question did he died in the end too?

rapid tapirBOT
primal otter
# velvet coral Yupppppp

Nah😭 thats so sad but in a way I feel like it was better for him as his life was tragidic. Afte rshe left his death was the only moment of peace for him I think😭

copper lanceBOT
#

@mild bone is now following @velvet coral.

copper lanceBOT
#

@velvet coral is now following @mild bone.

velvet coral
#

@torpid wraith this was the first part

#

I'm not sure if they are actually related but I wanted them to

torpid wraith
#

Mmm very much related just indirectly
They work as a series though

velvet coral
#

Mmm I'd like to continue this but I'm not sure abt it

#

I've written a lot tooo but posted none

torpid wraith
velvet coral
velvet coral
#

@thin bane