I don't wanna be myself (FV #2)

[wintry moss]

*I don't know how to be myself
Because I do nothing except sleep and live
Being with myself is painful as it is
I don't even know how to be someone else.

All my life, I was fond of being alone
Spending nights at the dark staring at my phone
But now I thought I should be truthful to myself
And be myself, so I can be confident.

But it seems that nightmares comes back again
And dreams are nothing but an illusion
A delusion, I wish to be someone great
Someone who's not boring, someone real
Someone where I'd feel that i am not disgraceful
Someone that is not me, someone
Just someone is all I ask.

How can i live a life of rainbows and flowers
When I can't stand being myself for an hour
I should just get up and be like them
I'm jealous, but I cannot for the life of me
Just do what I need to do.

Shoulders with boulders
Moldered ways I cannot take,
I'm slowly getting older it's over
I rover around like a snake
Trying to contemplate in solitude
Hoping there's still a chance to fix myself
To heal myself, to be myself without falling
As failure's calling me, dragging me
Stopping me from reaching my goals.*

@visual pilot @little dust @dire creek @rigid needle @rustic needle @flat quail @fiery gorge@buoyant river

@sturdy trout @cunning stirrup @daring pilot @quartz rampart@shy scaffold @regal gull

@abstract obsidian @carmine nymph @vague wharf @cosmic lake

@inland sun @wind siren @boreal cairn @midnight terrace @merry knoll @dawn loom@kind badger @rough tinsel

@little frost @agile hill @tulip plume
@fossil lily @languid ferry @zenith pond @gritty cloud

@high wasp @polar crystal @elfin basin @lime orbit @rain portal @echo vault @full nacelle

[meager kiln]

This is actually very relatable, it's awesome

[wintry moss]

Thank you very much

[boreal cairn]

DAVE

u said waiting till 100 sonnets 🙄

[lethal stirrup]

I relate to this a lot, very cleverly written as well.

[rustic needle]

Pretty relatable

I like it

[wintry moss]

yeah bro this is me just silently doing it

[wintry moss]

thank you so much man

[wintry moss]

thank you so much Eli

[dire creek]

hey so i love this LMAO. "Being with myself is painful as it is""I don't even know how to be someone else." ngl that’s smt many ppl bury. But you face it. that bravery is powerful ngl. i also like how ur lines cycle between hope and despair, presence and disappearance. It creates a haunting emotional rhythm, for exp this line"To heal myself, to be myself without falling As failure's calling me..." this line feels like being pulled underwater, gasping, then trying to swim again. That’s not just good writing man that’s effective emotional pacing

[wintry moss]

Thank you so much for the feedback Moonlight i really appreciate it.

[lethal stirrup]

Ofc brooo

[zenith pond]

relating to this today dave. the fourth stanza is insane

[wintry moss]

thank you so much

[rigid needle]

And dreams are nothing but an illusion
A delusion, I wish to be someone great

This hit bc you can use dreams as aspirations and as a sleepstate. Phenomenal.

and the last lines @wintry moss