#Coffee Kitty

12 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

compact violet
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Coffee Kitty

Kitty laying in the sun,
toasted like a little bun,
I’ll open the door, she’ll run,
stepping out—no longer one,

reach below to scratch her neck,
then sit down on rotten deck—
this place, truly, it’s a wreck—
what time is it? let me check;

half-past eight; she paws my feet,
‘Coffee Kitty, soft and sweet,
let’s take a walk down the street,
we’ll waltz to cardinal tweets’.

She tries to leap to my knees,
but I get up, turn my keys,
my bare feet pet grass with ease;
between the trees—golden breeze,

no visage could greater please,
Under sky like open seas—
Kitty and me, walking free,
I’m not alone, nor is she.

dense knoll
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The poem is good

zinc osprey
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A mild suggestion I have is that you can make the vocabulary more interesting

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Please, seas, free, she

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I feel like you can rewrite the poem to flow more smoothly when read aloud, and you can have some imperfect rhymes instead that make the descriptors more original if that makes sense

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I really enjoyed this

inland sundialBOT
compact violet
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heard that thank you 💯💯

zinc osprey
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For example, the last three stanzas all use the same rhymes

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Whereas the first two stanzas use different rhymes