#Grasping at Shadows

9 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

final swan
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How?!
How could you do this?!
You thief cloaked in glass,
You punish my persistence!

Your glinting talons mock me,
Dangling treasures just out of reach.
Yet still I continue,
Just walk away they beg of me,
It's time to beseech.

Once again I play,
Trapped in your game. 
Every failure a reminder,
Of the dream that you've slain.

HOW?!
HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?!
YOU DEMON OF BRASS–
I WILL OVERCOME YOUR RESISTANCE!
I WILL SURPASS!

This pattern must break,
Yet I'm enthralled by your offers.
You think you can break me,
But my will shall not falter.

Each click a promise,
Each move a trap.
I find myself grasping at shadows,
A slave to this task.

How many coins until I'm released?
How many attempts until I'm free? 
I've been bound to this lever,
Rooted before you like a weed.

How…
How could I do this?
Why couldn't I break away,
I've squandered so much–
Is it me who's to blame?

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@spice meteor

spice meteor
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Okay i like this but i feel it could do with some additional at the end

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i also like the slant rhymes

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@compact sparrow check this out 🙂

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i wouldn’t say bronze at all

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it needs a little work at the end

final swan
# spice meteor i wouldn’t say bronze at all

Thank you very much! I only really have 4 categories. Stuff that ain't finished, stuff that's finished but has several noticable flaws, stuff that's just about there but has one or two things I dont like, and then gold which would be poems I cant think of any form of improvement regarding. The only gold poem is the Humpty Dumpty one

spice meteor