Shapers Peril (Commandant's Last Requiem)

[mellow remnant]

I Keep having dreams
Ive seen an epitaph yet rekindled.
My future seen putrid yet virtued.
an armageddon yet seen as abyss.

Yet a desperate comrade stands by my side.
Negating futures, pasts and present.
Astray from what is true.

the journey is a entropy, unsure of paths.
We've prevailed--In standing
We've partaked--In chances
We've spread--in kaleidoscopes
But time is also unveiled.
Disrupted.
Uncontrolled.
Benigned.

Yet the choice's we reshaped fell into peril.
Unable to re-establish our chosen conduct.

As a commandant of the gray ravens.
I took responsibilities.
I took promises.
I took faith... In peoples dream's
But atlast a fixed choice needs to be conducted.

I am sorry.. Liv.. Lee.. And lucia..
I won't be able to stand by your side.
Let my sacrifice be humanity's salvation.

Lucia: https://discord.com/channels/944439929734312006/1367392541422649424
Liv: https://discord.com/channels/944439929734312006/1367823958820261888
Lee: #1367814711256809472

<@&1145760802666717234>

[mellow remnant]

@tardy iris

[tardy iris]

"Yet the choice's we reshaped fell into peril. Unable to re establish our chosen conduct"
This poem seems to depict a leader who must make a difficult decision to save others, even if it means sacrificing himself. You use strong metaphors, such as “Commandant of the gray ravens” and “Entropy” to depict uncertainty and chaos. The poem also has an epic and tragic feel, like a story that will end with a heroic sacrifice.

[mellow remnant]

Emg gitu cerita dari karakter aku baca

[tardy iris]

Keren

[mellow remnant]

Nice analysis!

[tardy iris]

Merci!

[mellow remnant]

Aku akan buat lagi 1 sebagai ultimatum

[tardy iris]

Newbie udah garang aja tulisannya

[mellow remnant]

Wkwkwk

[tardy iris]

Keep it up!

[mellow remnant]

Biasanya dapet dari film kata kata aneh gitu

[mellow remnant]

Thanj you too!

Btw share some ur poems

Pengen tahu jg akuu

[tardy iris]

Iyalohh sebenarnya susah nyari kata2 unik kek gitu

[tardy iris]

Surely, but been long time i didnt post any

[mellow remnant]

Ayooo! SEMANGAT

[tardy iris]

Haha iyaa, thanks Adam!

[mellow remnant]

You too grace!

[mellow remnant]

Shaper's Peril (Commandant's Last Requiem)

@thin rain

[mellow remnant]

@velvet copper

Theres like multiple poems in this one

Alr im gonna rest my mind rq

Oh damn! Didnt think it would have that much meanings

Thank you for giving a feedback!

I also added music to each poem to feel the current character's poem

[velvet copper]

great!

[mellow remnant]

Shapers Peril (Commandant's Last Requiem)

[mellow remnant]

@sharp osprey

Theres music in each poem

[sharp osprey]

You captured the essence perfectly!

Reading this monolog with music, feels like following a rhythm! Those last sentences: let my sacrifice humanity's– salvation.

You are doing good!

Just let the wisdom express words in harmony—

[mellow remnant]

YESSSS ty brother, i legit had to get tips from u and others to make a poem rather than a prose

[mellow remnant]

@bronze mauve

[bronze mauve]

Already reacted man

😔

Check heart

[mellow remnant]

Oh mb dawg

[bronze mauve]

Lol

[rotund wasp]

OOOOO THIS IS LOVELY

[strange gorge]

@dense cipher is now following @mellow remnant.

[main bluff]

Midway though, and I love this style too (so many good read😭... Lemme finish reading first)

[mellow remnant]

Ty writer n dave!

[dense cipher]

This is amazingly lovely bro

[mellow remnant]

Im trying to take some inspiration from u aswell

Complicated words yet simple or easy to understand

[main bluff]

I can feel grief, duty(I think it's stupid to do things outta obligation tho) , and quiet heroism.. As if he or she is facing the collapse of all they’ve fought for, yet still choosing to sacrifice for others

Did you write this to explore the weight of leadership and how even the strongest must sometimes walk alone for the sake of others or?

No answer?

Well then I'd conclude myself.. To me it's as though it honors the speaker’s sorrow, their sacrifice, and the emotional toll of carrying others’ dreams🤷(selfless acts are not things I like so sorry if you're offended by what I said prior)

[mellow remnant]

well indeed, i also bear the responsibility of others even if i have to trace it myself

[mellow remnant]

All good!

But tbh the poem was made because i was inspired of this commandant character from a story

[main bluff]

You must be a first child because ain't no way I'm taking responsibility for others😭

[mellow remnant]

2nd child. My brother died because of a birth defect

[main bluff]

What's the storyyyyyyyy.... Lemme read and troll the character😭

[main bluff]

Oh I'm sorry about that...you're all good now tho right bro?

[mellow remnant]

Mb i got timed out

[mellow remnant]

Ye im good! Mb for bringing that up legit didnt mean to make things a bit awkward

[mellow remnant]

Its really long, found it in a game

Its called punishing gray raven

if u started reading it at first, its boring until chapter 8. After that its peak

[main bluff]

Oh no no no it's really okay bro

[main bluff]

Thanks for the heads up... I'd read it😆(I read everything)

[mellow remnant]

The newest chapters hits so much harder now, so def feels like watching a one piece anime