#How Far Can I Go Before I Become a Monster? (FV #12)

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fast rock
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How Far Can I Go Before I Become a Monster?

I’ve taken many lives
I’ve seen shadows erupt from the light
I’ve seen the darkest parts of my psyche
Is there still any good left inside of me?

I took Zypher’s life without a second thought
I pushed away my loved ones
I’ve ran for miles, hoping to one day be caught
But they never come

Monsters aren’t born, they are made
Am I slowly being molded into a monster
Like a ball of clay?
“Ekleipsis. I’m not the monster in this story… right?”
I ask not for a true answer
But a reassurance to tell me that I’m not wrong.
Even if I’m not right either…

Oh, Emmanuel. You aren’t close to being a monster
I’ve seen many monsters, you don’t even fit in the category
Trust me boy, for I am the dark side of the eclipse
Submit to my power and you will never fear the dark

Shadows weave themselves around me
Trying to drown me
Trying to take me in…
But they’ll never beat me
No matter how hard they break me
If I become a monster—
I’ll become one by my own terms

I stand at the edge of the cliff
The waves crashing against the basalt beneath me
The mist spraying up at me
A hand touches my shoulder—
But when I reach back to touch it
There is no one there
Am I truly alone here?
Am I too far gone?
Have I breached insanity?
Have I finally found nihility?
Will this be my final stand?

Ekleipsis, you have taught me much
It is an honor
To be adorned with the genius of a god
But when does intelligence breed insanity?
When does anger become a bloodbath?
When does the light become something darker?
When will I become a monster?
How far can I go?

Then that’s when it happened
When my foot crossed the ledge
They told me I was dancing far too close to the edge
I feel Ekleipsis consume me
Or is it my darker side
Finally being brought to the light?
Is it truly night?
Or can I not see
Past the shadows that stand in front of me

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Maybe
Just maybe
I don’t even want to see
Past the shadows that consume me
I’d rather be insane
Not able to see the red that glows in my eyes
Maybe I’d rather believe the lies
That I am the best
That I must pass every single test
Then let me help you, Emmanuel
Let me show you how far you can go

If they are better than me—
I must become better
If they are weaker than me—
Than they serve no purpose
If they love me—
I cannot love them back
I can’t take that chance
Not again
I could only love her…
My darling, Adonai
And if I can’t love her,
Nobody deserves to love again
No matter how many thresholds I must cross
No matter how far I must dive in
I will avenge her
Darkus will fall to my hand
His stone-like appearance
Will turn to sand
Once Dranakeon touches him

Adonai wielded Kranakus
I wielded Draganus
After her death they became one—
Dranakeon—
Now with our powers fused into one
The god of darkness will be undone
No matter how many times I must rip him to shreds
Turn him into ashes
And it’s all for her…

If I must be the monster
Then I’ll be the monster for her
Maybe one day I’ll look into her eyes again
In a world that’s not our own
But until then,
I will adopt the darkness
That came from her death
As my very own

I’ve lost my best friend
Because he couldn’t let me help him
Defeat the man draped in moonlight
That was quick with his blade
I made a promise to keep the other two safe
And one after another—
They fell—
I lost Arash—
I lost Israel—
And—
I lost—
Adonai…

What does it matter anymore?
I’ve broken the one promise I had to keep
I couldn’t save Israel
I couldn’t save Adonai
I couldn’t stop Darkus from continuing his rampage
So now I will stop him before he takes the last of us
Even if I must be a darker monster than he ever was
And I will help you, Emmanuel.

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@spark valley @golden coyote @steep monolith @peak tree @slim garden @kindred tiger @gusty meteor @mighty sedge

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@mental sonnet @vapid wigeon @stray kite

spark valley
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Yooooo this was fire bro

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probably my third favorite of your longer poems

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"Ekleipsis, you have taught me much
It is an honor
To be adorned with the genius of a god
But when does intelligence breed insanity?
When does anger become a bloodbath?
When does the light become something darker?
When will I become a monster?
How far can I go?"

This part was definitely my favorite

fast rock
fast rock
spark valley
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Np

stray kite
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W POEM FAM

fast rock
heady ledge
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wonderful story

fast rock
kindred tiger
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The storytelling is perfect

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This poem is fire