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37 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

silver cargo
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I need your help

analog obsidian
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try:
how is it now the key is mine?
we bowed low beneath his blade

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and experimenting with another ending line

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now guess why i suggested u this?

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as well as my motivation here

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no answer me first why i did

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this is about u learning not me

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even if the guesses u make are wrong thats fine

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u are here to improve not because, u already know

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only if u really cant figure out

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which i doubt seeing ure skill here

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what makes u think it has to change the whole stanza?

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instead of finding the part where the tone was less deeper and shapening it?

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using a second stanza could be good if u think it fits?

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u dont copy paste it directly from me

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u use it as an inspiration and make it ure own

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this isnt some school class

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this is ure learning ure poetry own it

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suggestions are fun, learning and, improvments are better

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i can suggest a ton, but what would u learn from that? next poem u just be repeating the same mistake

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because, u never learned u just copied

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thats not what i want u to do here

lone salmonBOT
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*i didn't ask you

to suggest, i said "i thought

you were suggesting"*

- stargirl730
analog obsidian
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thats actually quite deep

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yea because, misscomunication happens a lot and, thats a play off that

proud elmBOT
analog obsidian
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communication goes two ways

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both party's are always involved

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then let me ask u how does one go against miscommunication?

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is that by taking a stern stance on only ure own point of view?

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or is it being more open minded and trying to understand the other point of view?

analog obsidian
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and finding flaws in them?

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is that what creates good communication?

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mind answering the questions here?

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look if ure just going to lecture then im out

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gonna block u too because, ure not willing to learn u know very well as to why