Nice
#“Is It God’s Kind Act, Or Just A Coincidence?”-R. Yee
worldly bough
Kinda made me laugh a little
cool
fleet tapir
the poem was kinda funny, and i like the concept you were going with this!
personally the style had a little bit too much said for me -- I think the beauty and uniqueness of poetry is embodied the best when only the necessary things are said
in my style, I probably wouldn't saying something like "So I complained"
or, perhaps if i wanted to emphasize on the fustration the speaker was feeling, I'd rather show it by perhaps adding some imagery
"my lips were dry,
cracked and desperate
for a drop to quench my thirst"
a counterargument for this is that it doesn't embody your style so much, and I'm sorry I'm not skilled enough to provide you with a better example, but I hope this helps!
some parts did kind of throw me off, but rereading it, I think this poem is a lighthearted read, and I enjoyed it 