lethal reef
Please, give it to me;
Someone to truly call “dad”.
Still, I love my father.
My father loves me.
My father means the world to me.
But he loves to find fault with me.
My father is losing his patience.
But he always has my back.
I really want to make him proud.
But he never seems to be proud of me.
I try really hard to be enough, to do enough.
But it never seems to be either.
My father doesn’t like me.
But he loves me.
I always annoy my father.
But I don’t mean it.
I am a burden to my father.
But I don’t mean it.
I will never measure up to my father.
Yet I try hard.
I envy those children and teens and men,
Those whose “dad” will hold them tight in their arms.
Even if they’re bigger or smaller, shorter or taller,
They hold their sons as if they were a precious treasure.
My father looks at me with contempt,
And sneers at my misfortune.
He looks down upon all of me,
And spurns my honest goodwill.
He laughs at my demise.
Endless times I’ve tried,
Over and over again.
And I’ve always been denied,
Over and over again.
When he’d try,
It’d be forced.
He never really wants to.
So he shouldn’t have to.
He’s too busy for me anyway.
Too annoyed for a hug.
Too tired to play.
Too soft, not manly enough, too this, too that; Not enough.
Please, let me feel it;
A man who will hold me like the others do theirs,
Squeeze me tight, let me cozy down,
Tell me that I’ll be alright.
Let me move forward with strength anew,
The power that comes from a loving father.
I wish to find solace in that strong embrace.
I got tall, a beard, muscles to call my own.
And yet, within,
I am but a mere boy, yearning for his father’s attention.
Please, just one man with the purest kind of intention.
I’m sorry, to my father.
I know I can’t earn it.
Regardless,
I am grateful for your presence in my life;
Even if I am a burden to yours.
olive jasper
devout kettle
topaz ferry
narrow heron
hard kiln
very relatable, love the honesty
supple gyro
final timber
hasty carbon
zealous snow
