Validate Me

[slim coyote]

@woeful loom @valid heart @glacial raven @stuck tinsel @regal pagoda @limber nexus

[warm jay]

wow wow that's some great flow

[valid heart]

First

🫂

And second

I LOVE IT SO MUCH WAHHHHHHGHH

I just woke up and read it but it was easy to read still!!

Flowed amazingly I love it so much!!!

[slim coyote]

Thank you!! I wrote it this morning!

[slim coyote]

Thank you!

[valid heart]

It’s wonderful

[regal pagoda]

Okay, that first line? Damn, what a metaphor! You started this off so strong. Literally had me leaning into that metaphorical mirror myself until you slapped me with the cold bare truth of it.

Following it directly with a further expansion on the iciness of the first metaphor by comparing it to a crime— damn near made me cry.

Your second stanza is full of flow and rhythmic lines until you crescendo with speak, absence, and bleak. Wonderful use of a build up with a very impactful pay off!

Then the personal impact of it all, your desire for a hug; that personal touch of warmth from someone who clearly cares. You make the audience empathize with you. Which isn’t hard at this point because of how much of an amazing job you did at making us so emotionally invested until this point.

And then the finish…the recognition that it’s not entirely her fault, painted in the most kind light by describing it as armor. Your mom was just protecting herself but it came at the cost of her daughter being left out (knocking at the door).

This was nothing short of a masterpiece in short form poetry done at its best. So fricking well done Tiny! I am so incredibly proud of you! 👏

[slim coyote]

I would really like to emphasize that I wasn’t trying to paint her as someone who’s great in the end. I love her so yes I don’t ever want to write anything ill intended. My message was more or so armor from letting me in despite how her life was before me. I’ll never reach her but I try my best to still see her in good light even if it’s all a lie

[regal pagoda]

Oh no, I don’t mean she was being painted in a good light. I think the whole poem definitely speaks to that! But you highlight an attractive quality about yourself in that you at least acknowledge her pain to some extent. Despite the fact that she is STILL actively keeping you out to this day.

[glacial raven]

this is beautiful, love was like a foreign language she could never speak" ❤️

[slim coyote]

Thank you

[frail grail]

Vindicate me