O' Mother! My Mother!

[keen skiff]

O' Mother! Tell me!
How do you handle such a hectic schedule?
From watering the plants to handling the mess,
To being criticised for being jobless all over again?

O' Mother! Tell me!
Why should you suffer so much!
Just for me?
At last you've given birth to me,
Even if you're treated unfairly!

O' Mother! Tell me!
Why do you give yourself so much pain!
I see you by the nightstand weeping,
Hoping everything will be okay one day.

O' Mother! Tell me!
Am i not a good kid?
For I've never been able to stand up for you,
Yet you take care of me with grace.

O' Mother! My Mother!
Tell me how I get rid of your pain!
Tell me how I get rid of all your sorrows,
And exchange them with happiness all over again!

[keen skiff]

<@&1145760802666717234> <@&1144090752457113794>

[upper pagoda]

Am I not a good kid? - typo?
At last you've given birth to me - "at last" doesn't make much sense in the way i'm interpreting it (am i interpreting it wrong?)
Why do you give yourself so much pain! - it feels a little awkward
Tell me how I get rid of your pain! - to me, "get rid of" seems a little too soft, less impactful, a little casual?

is there anything specific in feedback that you want?

[keen skiff]

Nah, TYSM!! I'll better this piece

[buoyant sand]

Ima show this to my mom 💀, great stuff brih

[keen skiff]

Thank youu:D

[gilded marsh]

I loved everything else about this. Except maybe the hectic schedule part, it seemed lackluster for a first line for such an intense poem with great meaning. Keep the work up though! I loved "why do you give yourself so much pain"

[keen skiff]

Basically i wanted to portray the daily life in the role of a housewife, so at the moment i thought hectic would be a good word, it's been a while since I wrote so haha errors might be here and there, but thank you for the opinion!

[ancient jetty]

I love this so much