stop, you're losing me

[vernal dirge]

<@&1145760802666717234>

[vernal dirge]

@wet totem

@nocturne nexus

[wet totem]

I'll read it in a bit

[wet totem]

Also you can copy the link of this poem and then post it in #🖇・poetry-feedback-help with the tag of poetry feedback<3

[vernal dirge]

ight nwss

[vernal dirge]

OK OK OK THANK YOU

[wet totem]

Np

[vernal dirge]

yo, thank you. it was a draft roughly written, raw emotions. ill definitely edit it by keeping your feedback in my mind.

[hoary whale]

is this a fellow swiftie i see-!!! bahahaha, lemme read rq

[vernal dirge]

':))

[hoary whale]

'wait let me put another dose of you in my already blue veins ' hits. This is pretty good overall but as adios said- needs polishing to become an actual poem or to be fair this would suit better to be a prose! The lines are good and Wordplay Is nice but yk it needs that push - but you did say it was a rough draft, so from that perspective- i give it a 8/10 ! Good work!^^ do tag me whenever you end up posting the final draft!

[vernal dirge]

yay will def ping you.

[wet totem]

the sentences are pretty but you need to have appropriate line breaks and stanza changes. Also punctuation too along with using less filler word because some of em feel like sentences😭(DW THIS HAPPENS TO NEW POETS A LOT IT HAPPENED TO ME TOO)