#Blue Onyx

83 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

coral sapphire
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god has forgotten about
lonely spirits falling into velvet eyes
the blue onyx crown could only cry,
from a light not far.

a siren called out to me from the burning darkness,
I saw a world in the sky, for eternal rest.
in the cold white heat,
the boy was hung on a cross.

feel the melting crown of thorns dripping down from the depths,
what have you become.

at the end of a shadowless church
along golden sands, breathing in life.
sit upon glass bells of death
ringing with blue skies above.

glass tears rain down, underneath the dark star
red canyons scratched in the void,
slowly ascending in your solitude
as cherry blossoms fall.

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made this one by cutting up a good few of my haikus.

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@spring nebula

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hope you like it

late schooner
# coral sapphire god has forgotten about lonely spirits falling into velvet eyes the blue onyx cr...

I love the religious and celestial elements in the imagery, the blend with loneliness, suffering and a sense of meaninglessness (partial) stands out

Direct neglect or abandonment, "Velvet Eyes" could be a reflection of beauty

Sirens are mythological creatures that lure sailors to their doom
Here, they might represent an alluring call toward oblivion or escape from suffering

"In the cold white heat, the boy was hung on a cross"

A direct reference to crucifixion, likely alluding to Christ, but the "cold white heat" adds a paradoxical touch, suffering mixed with divine illumination or a sterile, lifeless pain

The "melting crown of thorns" could suggest suffering dissolving into something unrecognizable, maybe a transformation through pain

"What have you become" hints at an identity crisis or the consequences of enduring suffering

"At the end of a shadowless church along golden sands, breathing in life"

A "shadowless church" could symbolize a place devoid of mystery or refuge, faith stripped of its warmth or purpose? I guess so

"Golden sands" may represent the passage of time, reminiscent of an hourglass
"Breathing in life" contrasts with the previous references to death, hinting at a moment of vitality or clarity

"Sit upon glass bells of death, ringing with blue skies above"

"Glass bells" is a beautiful symbolism to fragility and finality just like funeral bells echoing in a serene sky
Death and beauty coexist here, reinforcing a sense of bittersweet transience, impeccable contrast!

The picture of divine abandonment, suffering, and the search for meaning within solitude is great

Well Written mate!🍻

coral sapphire
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Austin you have the eyes of an eagle when it comes to picking apart a poem, you really do it well. the meanings behind a lot of the haikus I wrote bleed into this, this in itself is a nonsensical poem but its always lovely to see what people can pull out of it.

late schooner
coral sapphire
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@fiery cradle enjoy :)

high saddle
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This sounds like chat gpt feedback :

balmy harness
high saddle
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Please don't use it on this server heart_animated_1

balmy harness
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AI is a crazy yet very helpful interpretation tool

high saddle
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You never know if the person wants their stuff fed to gpt yk?

stone iceBOT
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*You never know if

the person wants their stuff fed

to gpt yk?*

high saddle
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And heartfelt feedback/interpretation is a big part of sharin your stuff

coral sapphire
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I am very anti-AI, I dont want any of my poems fed to chatbots.

balmy harness
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Oh ok

balmy harness
coral sapphire
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thank you, did you like the poem?

balmy harness
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Not my forte

coral sapphire
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Melancholy? Nah you got it all wrong.

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It’s meaningless.

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None of that poem has meaning to it, it’s just a bunch of words I slapped together.

late schooner
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No offense but to my interpretation it standed out as a mirage of emotions like abandonment or pain with a layering of religious imagery

balmy harness
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The reference to “God has forgotten about lonely spirits” and “the boy was hung on a cross” suggests a crisis of faith and abandonment, reinforcing a sorrowful tone.

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“glass tears rain down, underneath the dark star” and “slowly ascending in your solitude as cherry blossoms fall” mix sadness with beauty, creating a wistful, melancholic atmosphere.

I might me wrong but this is my pov

coral sapphire
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Well that’s your interpretation and you’re free to interpret it any way but personally I don’t put a meaning to it all.

late schooner
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Uk what, wait a second

late schooner
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Id like to be guided, how is this poem melancholy themed?😭
GPT is high fr

balmy harness
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I mean not now

late schooner
coral sapphire
dusty marlin
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So, I got a little different interpretation of this from Austin (probably due to my own life experience and the existential dread I have rn) about this being about existential dread.

"God has forgotten about lonely spirits falling into velvet eyes"
Reminds me of a cruel world, as if abandoned by god, with no meaning or good left in it, velvet eyes, symbolising deep sadness or suffering but in a sophisticated way

I looked up symbolism for onyx, it turns out it's a symbol for strength and protection, and even a symbol for strength is crying, makes me think of even strong wills and spirits of people breaking at the hands of this cruel world, or maybe even god (the protector) crying at what his creation has become

light is not far but just far enough, suffering is too great and too prolonged to hold onto hope any longer.

A voice from suffering calls out to suggest death as a solution, almost solitude from this living hell. Even Jesus died for a higher purpose, maybe it is the right choice.

Thorns on the head have dug in so deep that they have melted in and blended with the blood, the pain being too embedded and intrinsic, changing a possibly hopeful and optimistic person into something terrible, which they loathe.

Shadowless church did come across as a place of worship devoid of warmth, but shadows don't really represent warmth, so I felt shadowless actually refers to no darkness anymore, just light, which is only possible in heaven, and this goes well with the later lines about blue skies above and bells of death.

So the speaker thinks the only place left to seek refuge is the church of heaven without any darkness, and in the eternal time there (golden sands), they will truly be able to live (because living to them has become akin to death because of their hopeless despair and a lack of a way out)

The darkness calls one final time towards death, the deep wounds of the person urge them to take this step into the void, and finally ascending from this hell,

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achieving what they think is beauty (cherry blossoms)

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I like it, it resonates with me

coral sapphire
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interesting interpretation Ethereal.

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its like this but longer and more in depth

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not like super long

dusty marlin
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my battery is super low rn, but I'll be sure to check it out later! ❤️

spring nebula
coral sapphire
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@deep osprey

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hope you enjoy :)

coral sapphire
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@scenic vine

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hope you enjoy :)

scenic vine
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I enjoyed it

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this seems like a tyrant after mass destroying everything is lamneting or or this in a way i think would be perfect for the situation when argemmemnon sacrigiced his daughter to win the war, just in this situation hes sarcrificed his son whom him loved very much

coral sapphire
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interesting

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interesting

digital barn
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It is really hard to go through it in one read.
It has abstract colour.
Various conclusion can be reached.
I am still searching metaphor.

coral sapphire
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@echo shore

echo shore
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i can’t help but feel a Christ-like suffering here with your word choices. i really like the way you put this poem together. pls ping me on all of your future stuff !

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so hard to digest😩

coral sapphire
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@turbid vault

turbid vault
# coral sapphire <@97438484561678336>

There is no spirit in the parlours of the pampered rich,
Onto their jewels they heave a sombre, wasted sigh,
Though Elpis' warmth's a wily, wicked witch,
Her promised home is far, though it be nigh,

The wailing witch cajoles you from despair,
To show the world in white, unbridled heat,
She leaves you on its wretched cross to bear,
Then lifts you to the heavens from your feet,

See the riches fade to dust,
And jewels warp into vain dreams,
Farewell to Earth's impotent crust,
The satin sky unfurls its seams.

coral sapphire
turbid vault
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oh right yeah

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no I like it a lot

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I honestly don't know how you do it 😛

coral sapphire
turbid vault
coral sapphire
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🤣

turbid vault
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hehehe

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I think The Crimson King is a Sith Lord

coral sapphire
turbid vault
coral sapphire
turbid vault
vapid kayak
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I like this a lot; it's rich and has a beautiful arc of exploration. I think you're not scared to use images-which I like a lot.

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Keep it up!

coral sapphire
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@silent yew this is where my cut up poetry style started, its an interesting start.

silent yew
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whoa froggoAHAHA i love the symbolism! to me, the siren calling adds an alluring touch of desire whilst the blue onyx crown crying maybe symbolises masked loneliness, and “melting crown of thorns”; could be related or unrelated to that but brings into play a facade potentially slowly slipping, as the superficial melts. I really liked the line where golden sands sit upon glass bells of death, maybe a desire to conceal the fragility of life, expectancy of death, as glass is easily shattered, fragile and transparent, the boy too hung on a cross, a confronting, cold line followed by questioning ones self

crystal nightBOT
coral sapphire
silent yew