Frogmouth

[fringe anvil]

<@&1144090752457113794> ; how do I make this sound more like a prose poem than a standard prose? I would appreciate constructive criticisms.

Thank you!

[prisma falcon]

I love this prose!!! I wouldn't have expected to read something regarding this topic haha but it was such a lovely read You immerse the reader very well in the setting by using very detailed laboratory vocabulary and processes.

The last sentence from the first paragraph, as well as "And so the operation began" "Screw ethics!" Transitioned the tone really well!

You implemented humour in those stanzas really well haha. And the ending is reflective and deep.

I took your prose into a document and tried shaping it into prose poetry, or well to the extent I know from prose poetry. I'll share the first 3 stanzas, since I'm not sure if you'd rather build the rest alone yourself. Take this as inspiration if you desire.

What I try to do when writing "prose poetry", is using the last word of a verse and/or the first word of a verse as an emphasis. And separate every idea/moment in stanzas.

While reading your prose I noticed some pauses so sometimes I also "break the verse" when that happens.

[floral geyser]

you clearly are extremely well are writing prose. i felt that the ending line was unnecessary and too in-the-face.

[floral geyser]

also, I'd love if you would like to share this piece in my magazine that I'll be starting in the next 2 months. let me know if youd like to know more 🙂

[fringe anvil]

Oooh, thank you!! Your comments are extremely insightful!!

Just wondering though why some poems I see are written in full paragraphs instead of stanza form. What makes those pieces count as poetry? (so that I'll also try to integrate it haha)

Also, if you're wondering how I came up with that story, it actually happened to me irl 😂😂

I was trying to extract a frog's brain only for its fluids + formalin to squirt in my eye 🗿

It inspired me to write a story about it 😂

[fringe anvil]

Ooo, what are the deets?

[marsh terrace]

Wonderful! @fringe anvil has just pregressed to level 1!

[floral geyser]

Should I share in your DMs? Let me know

[fringe anvil]

Go ahead

[prisma falcon]

I'm glad!

I just did my research haha. Apparently texts that are written in paragraphs that use imagery, rhythm/musicality above structure and other poetic devices, are considered prose poetry. So technically (I'm no expert) what you wrote would be a prose poem haha 😂
I got confused with poems with longer verses and not as traditional, like the sketch of yours I sent here but that'd just be considered free-verse

[prisma falcon]

HAHAH omg 💀 that makes it even funnier. No wonder how you put so much emotion into it hahahsh

[fringe anvil]

That's what I researched too!!

But the thing is, my poetry editor thinks my piece is just a standard prose 🗿

According to him, there is no 'colors of poetry' in my work, which is why I needed consultation about this 😂

[prisma falcon]

💀 mmmmmm I'm not expert but if I try to see what he's saying perhaps it's bcs it lacks imagery, like metaphors and stuff but ofc not sure

[fringe anvil]

ooh I see I see

thank you!

[fringe anvil]

Made a revised version:

https://discord.com/channels/944439929734312006/1354115481099046922