The Girl Named Cloud

[barren marsh]

Beneath the burning evening sky
A memory made me ponder,
As on the meadow I would lie
In dreams of awe and wonder.
There, when I looked into the skies,
I could have sworn, I gleaned it:
That nimbus drifting in her eyes -
Or maybe I'd just dreamed it.
The rising winds had me recall
A friend's undying face,
When I had seen a shroud befall
The warmth within her gaze.
I held her hand and she held mine,
When I would muse about,
What terror from the depths of time
Had hurt the girl named Cloud.
Not once she spoke about the thing;
Not once I dared to ask.
But too afraid I was to bring
Back shadows from her past.
So gentle was that floating dance,
And kindly all her words,
But sombre was that aimless glance,
When she would watch the birds.
My one and only evening star
With eyes of swirling gray,
But someday, sweeping from afar,
The wind took her away.

[reef niche]

@barren marsh has sent a notification! - @clear tartan @tender kayak @sonic vector @rugged burrow @stone merlin @restive cloak @serene marsh @pallid galleon @karmic tulip @broken loom @pearl sphinx @sinful forum @marsh sinew @junior raft @finite kernel

[finite kernel]

My new favorite romance poem 😫

[barren marsh]

[winter hawk]

This poem is so beautiful! The descriptions and flow are wonderful. I could really imagine everything while reading and the smooth flow made it feel even more vivid!

One small suggestion: I think something like to 'To watch the birds soar' would flow more naturally than 'To watch the soaring birds' given the rhyming you use across the poem. But take it with a grain of salt!

[reef niche]

@winter hawk is now following @barren marsh.

[barren marsh]

Thank you so much! It really means a lot to me!

I see what you mean, changed it so it seems a bit more elegant now. I appreciate it!

[winter hawk]

I'm glad. Nice adjustment! :))

[stray smelt]

That's so beautiful. You write sooo good 💞

[barren marsh]

Thank youuuu

[potent jewel]

https://tenor.com/view/long-tears-gif-11087877242190144149

[quaint stone]

I love the rhyme scheme, and the jumpiness. It feels like Im sitting next to a firepit and listening to an old story. I love the vibes. I like the meladramatic aura

[barren marsh]

Thank youuuu

[finite kernel]

W starboard

[fallow notch]

Woahhh🔥🔥

How did a fish write soooo good?????

You're the best fish poet, pixy!

[barren marsh]

Fesh

Fesh power

[fallow notch]

Fesh has too much power, gotta revoke some fish rights