God is Moi (feat. Rizkesque and anteater)

[sonic merlin]

@mighty junco and @sonic merlin on a monday morning

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1eE8UF8IprE89S531KewrJR0b1w7pmD8Au4_VHWC-WhE/edit?usp=drivesdk

-# JUST LET ME BE A CAT

[lapis briar]

@sonic merlin has sent a notification! - @iron isle @sullen compass @sly ridge @wide bobcat @upbeat kindle @pure moat @gusty anchor @misty isle @molten trout @past tree @young mirage @viral dagger @worn arch @compact widget

[mighty junco]

Oh dear.

[sonic merlin]

[lapis briar]

@sullen compass has sent a notification! - @gloomy shard @gloomy forge @solar marten @gusty anchor @sonic merlin @iron isle @sly ridge @vocal nexus @upbeat kindle @pliant loom @thin cobalt @misty isle @shrewd sky @heady barn @proper vector @merry crater @frosty oyster @worn arch @molten trout @onyx parcel @sharp bolt @cinder yoke @hasty warren @random condor @wide bobcat @proper vector @compact widget @austere flume

[sonic merlin]

@sullen compass follow the command

[sullen compass]

sorry poeticas orders pls forgib

[sonic merlin]

YES

[compact widget]

[lapis briar]

@mighty junco has sent a notification! - @rancid isle @night echo @gritty oriole @delicate yacht @sly ridge @sleek palm @rocky sigil @pliant loom @graceful bronze @cobalt cliff @gloomy shard @eternal quarry @slow mantle @viral dagger @iron isle @solar marten @tight summit @heady barn @left axle @knotty gorge @sonic merlin @muted robin @unkempt quarry @cinder yoke @past tree @proper vector @compact widget @sullen compass

[compact widget]

Triple ping

Is insane

[knotty gorge]

…

[past tree]

Ah, im being replaced I see

[sonic merlin]

You are not. You are still the only one who writes poems that need ciphers

[pseudo bone]

*You are not. You are

still the only one who writes

poems that need ciphers*

- Zeantier

[sonic merlin]

SUPPORT FROM HAIKU BOT

[molten trout]

oooo

*NAH, HUSH YOU

HAIRBALL COUGHING, NINE-LIVES HAVING, EIGHT-TIME WASTING, NEED-FOOD MEOWING, FENCEPOST RUBBING, CLAW-STUCK SCRATCHING,
NIGHTTIME STOMACH RUMBLING,
DERP-FACE MAKIN,
ANCIENT-SCRIBE PASTING,

C A T*

its my favourite bit

[sonic merlin]

Credit goes to @mighty junco lol

[cedar tundra]

Interesting Collab, I'll read it after I go home

[sonic merlin]

I will wish and pray for your brain to hold steady when you read this lol

[pseudo bone]

*I will wish and pray

for your brain to hold steady

when you read this lol*

- Zeantier

[cedar tundra]

Challenge accepted

[cedar tundra]

Your work, God Is Moi feels like a ferocious tapestry of rhyme and rage, weaving feline metaphors,

"HAIRBALL COUGHING, NINE-LIVES HAVING
....with scathing theological critique,
"SELFISHNESS BOUND IN MERE 100 YEARS
TRYING TO LEECH ALL THAT'S FAIR FROM HURT TEARS"
The language oscillates between visceral chaos,
"NIGHTTIME STOMACH RUMBLING"
And cosmic defiance (Honestly? BRILLIANT!!!)
"YOU RESIDE IN FOLDS TOLD BY THE IMMORTAL SAGES"
But its frenetic energy risks drowning its own message,
Lines like
"You mock us standing under our sun, That won all runs of life for you"
Crackle with accusatory fire, yet the poem’s sprawling scope, jumping from "ancient-scribe pasting" to "colonial mindset" to "toddler like fodder", feels less like a crescendo and more like a cacophony

However, the Inconsistencies do, very surely; glare
Is the speaker a cat?

"Just spite the weak by becoming feline physique"
Or a deity,
"You God, You Got"
The muddled identity undercuts the critique of "self-proclaimed dealers" of faith
The tone, too, veers unpredictably, "Cold words with cold heart" clashes with the almost playful "DERP-FACE MAKIN," diluting the poem’s gravitas
Your assault on "wish-y washy cheaters" of religion loses steam when you yourself dabble in contradictory imagery (ex- "prism of gray" vs. "black that we buy in lease")

[cedar tundra]

Yet, there’s raw brilliance here!!
The "river" metaphor,

"Both the devil and god are currents that you fight against"
This line is haunting, and phrases like "speaking out of eyes" linger like scars
However, the poem’s self-referential loops,
"Laying bricks to chuck or chucked bricks struck"
And excessive alliteration,
"dispatched subterranean felonies"
Often prioritize sound over coherence
When you snarl,
"Your legend will live in mutiny, while futility dances on your corpse",
The threat feels earned; elsewhere, the wordplay, "curdless drips of clear blood" feels like a distraction

My Opinion?, This is a volcanic piece, equal parts dazzling and disorienting,
It rages against dogma but gets tangled in its own snarled leashes

"spades and clubs on leashes"
For every gem,
"the seamstress missed, a celestial anomaly"
There’s a clunker,
"missed tungsten kneaders"*
Still, its audacity is undeniable

[cedar tundra]

Your mind is a storm, please keep channeling it, but maybe with a compass next time

[sonic merlin]

OMG YOU DID IT
Hahaha
I LOVE THIS JHSUJSHJSUHSBJH
AND THANK YOU SO MUCH!
-# fun fact this is actually a convo we had in discord chat lol. We decided to compile it lol. But yes, that was FUN
THANK YOU SO MUCH AAAAAA

[cedar tundra]

Been doing this for a while now, it's always a pleasure! Thanks for sharing :B

[compact widget]

Fancy shmancy stuff! Well written!

[sonic merlin]

Hehe, grandpoe does bring it out from all of us lol

[wide bobcat]

https://tenor.com/view/cat-blink-blinkingcat-cute-funny-gif-8859604814399687515

[past tree]

@past tree

[lime ibex]

Lemme get me glasses and glasses and glasses

:3

Cause GOD IZ MOI LE

:|

[past tree]

how much feedback do you want on this @mighty junco

[lime ibex]

-# furry stanzaz la :3

[mighty junco]

For text response sake,

For this kind of poem?
Just avoid from taking every line seriously;
view the lines in your raw opinions - first opinions if available.

Other than that, enjoy reading the banter. :D

[past tree]

Random notes:
Lovely yelling from the beninging
cat

Is Zean the cat here? And poe its owner? wow this speaks of Lead moderator-moderator relationships omg

"Selfishness bound in mere 100 years" is a fire verse

Oh yeah, this is just cat vs human

And ofc the cat wins as always