#I'm a woman.

137 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

lone creek
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I’m a woman.
• HY Semantic

*Yes, I’m a woman.

Neither a piece of your toy nor a part of the play,
Not your labor nor your bed charm,
For you took me as an object,
I shall feign the reign of a queen, for I’m a woman;

Yes, I’m a woman.

Nor this nor that, neither your love nor your game,
Not your tool nor your property,
For you took me as an aide,
I shall arch the arrow of matriarchy, for I’m a woman;

Yes, I’m a woman.

A woman, not the symbol of a victim nor a coward,
Not either stupidity or anxiety,
For you took me as yours,
I shall pierce a pique of surprise with a taste of disgust;

Yes, I’m a woman.

Nor this nor that, not a flower not your hunt,
Not your pet nor your leisure,
For you took me as an object,
I shall burn your thoughts of hunting,
And bury the predator, for I, am a WOMAN!*

  • HY
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mild swan
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woahh this is amazing???
"i shall arch the arrow of matriarchy" is such a nice phrase i love thissSobbinTheLanaDelReyOut

ember stag
lone creek
lone creek
ember stag
lone creek
ember stag
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I think some lines could be rephrased with imagery

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BUT. I totally get the vibes of the current syntax and repetition~

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Strong vocab that ties the poem well~SaberSaysPretty

lone creek
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Yes... Some lines could be changed.... But it would mess up the compulsion, so yes, I USED MY LICENCE LMAO

ember stag
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I needa write soon

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HY SemanticsInspiration

lone creek
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Poetic challenge?

ember stag
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Oho~

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shall we?

lone creek
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C'mon bring it, let's do it, after 10th?

ember stag
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Whats 10th

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Time zones

lone creek
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March 10th

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2 more days

ember stag
lone creek
ember stag
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Okay then😞

lone creek
ember stag
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Ill have to wait👉👈

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HAHAHA

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Alrighty~ just let me know when u wanna!

lone creek
wild dagger
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this is so beautifully written

lone creek
lone creek
ember stag
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I have a poem that I have yet to draft and edit

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😆

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Oops~ I digress! Let me know when ur free!

lone creek
woven wadi
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powerful message of strength also the repetition creates a commanding rhythm. Inspiring words selloquin!

lone moatBOT
lone creek
haughty tree
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Your poem is powerful, unapologetic, and fierce! The repetition of "yes I'm a woman" feels like a battle cry- one that shatters expectations and reclaims identity. Arching arrows, burning thoughts and burying the predator? CHILLS. You've woven defiance with elegance. ABSOLUTELY LOVE ITT. Kep writing, keep roaring!

lone moatBOT
lone creek
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They are lovely.

haughty tree
woven wadi
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Love the way ashley gives feedbacks not going to lie, keep up

lone creek
lone creek
haughty tree
# woven wadi Love the way ashley gives feedbacks not going to lie, keep up

Oh man, giving feedback to y’all is actually so fun because every poem here is just chef’s kiss 🤌✨ The talent?? The emotions?? The absolute artistry?? I’m in AWE. Like, this is my first time in a server like this, and I feel like I just walked into a secret society of poetic geniuses. 😭🔥 Y’all are out here dropping masterpieces while I’m just vibing, trying to process the sheer brilliance. Keep writing, keep being amazing—I’m here for it!!

woven wadi
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Trust me the feeling is mutual ! I joined today and have already seen art from a first time better than I have been trying to carve for years, and it feels me with nothing but joy ofcourse

lone creek
haughty tree
lone creek
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@vague steeple

quaint plinth
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Written with clarity, delivers a powerful message!
We encounter so much misogyny, this poem truly reflects what being a woman is all about! My full respect and admiration goes out to you
Particularly on international women's day where this message needs to be understood by everyone

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Each of us hearts writes what is within our❤️
We cannot ask or give more than that.

lone moatBOT
lone creek
lone creek
quaint plinth
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You certainly are An Amazing & Alluring Woman 🦋

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I am just going out now I hope we can speak later 🦋

lone creek
lone creek
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@rugged zephyr

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@vast wyvern

rugged zephyr
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NICE!

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Enpowering poem!

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I like this!

vast wyvern
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so you wrote a poem SaberSaysPretty rainier_sniffling

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i will read after finishing my work

lone creek
lunar haven
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i didn't notice that you posted something

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lemme check this out

lone creek
lunar haven
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"I shall arch the arrow of matriarchy, for I’m a woman; " on the way to villain arc i see

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its nice how both the last and the fast have the same line "took me as an object"

lone creek
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If I had one more stanza, i would have repeated the entire stanza, like Ogden Nash's The Tale Of A Custard Dragon

lunar haven
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this poem is like a ... vent out of tiredness. like i remember a dialogue from a film that (was in hindi originally) says "when you cross the limits of pain, you find a new heaven"

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this one's like you've crossed the limits of pain, so fear has died out

lunar haven
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why have you used "HY" twice?

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and different also

lone creek
lone creek
lone creek
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I forgot that I've used it already lol

lunar haven
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lol

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and then what's the difference between "HY" and "HY semantic" ?

lone creek
lunar haven
lone creek
lunar haven
lone creek
lunar haven
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this poem is very much what it is. it says it all straight out. i'm not finding much of imagery here really. but there's a lot of layered phrases like all the ending lines.

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this poem's a proclamation to destiny

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there's nothing more effective in conveying a message than just saying it out, which you've done.

lone creek
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Yes, I didn't want to use imagery. Some may find it bland, but I also made it bitter. For everyone to understand it. Even the ones with weak language.

lunar haven
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then on the poetic technicalities side, i'm finding the flow a bit wandering. like the first 2 lines of the first stanza (i'm not considering the "yes i'm a woman" lines right now) really put me off due to their difference in length. there's a set number of syllables that work with another sentence with a set number of syllables. so i think you should work a little on that. it has a bit of a clunky flow in that regard.

lone creek
lunar haven
lunar haven
lone creek
lone creek
lunar haven
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its too damn good

lone creek
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Anyway, will read em

lunar haven
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this poem is by ella wheeler wilcox

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@lone creek iirc you're indian right?

lone creek
lone creek
lunar haven
rugged zephyr
vast wyvern
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well that's a good read REAL . this poem is not written with pen fr. it's written with sword symbolizing strength, strength of woman. it's a raw piece that straight up point out the faults in our society. there's a sense of repetion .
the way the piece is written it's good and it's feel like you are reading it from the book of someone with good sense and great pov.
i shall appreciate with my full heart ❤❤heartpotat NoizeLoves

lone creek
desert lark
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Women are nice♡´･ᴗ･`♡

lone creek
lone creek
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@fallow hinge this is the one, again thankss!

lone creek
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@remote hatch enjoy this if you have time

remote hatch
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also Well penned 🖊

lone creek
remote hatch
lone creek
fallen hollow
# lone creek **I’m a woman.** • HY Semantic ***Yes, I’m a woman.** Neither a pie...

This is raw, but it is very personal. It doesn't speak for all woman.

The line with I shall feign. Feign is not needed. It just add a downward meaning

Are you using it to show trickery or what.

You can choose more role.
A role of a mother, elder sister for a man is very important.

The aspects of woman, the situations where no men can equal a women speaks for themselves.

That can add more broader view but generalising it won't be easy.

lone creek
fallen hollow
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Omg

lone creek
fallen hollow
robust moss
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Le wot

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:0

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Meh lobz

lone creek
lone creek
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@sharp idol there you go

sharp idol
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You r good blessed.