#As The Days Passed By

14 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

stuck pendant
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The confessions remained unsaid, nights spent lonely,
As the days passed by.
The cassettes of you obsessed.
My love laid bedspread, covered in red, fainting in dread due to my bloodshed,
Due to the unending quest, you were possessed,
As my soul felt suppressed.

Your love felt holy, as my stillness wandered by.
I couldn't see you broken enough to cry,
Still, I waited, I don't know why.
As I turned to walk away, memories flashed by.
At that blink of an eye, I never said goodbye,
Hoping you'd return, as the ages passed by.

As my hope turns to mist, I thought to escape.
This could never be.
Emptiness and memories took the place of me.
You promised no tomorrow, but I'll make it last.
This is all I've promised you, there's no regret.

For the past, that echoes in my heart,
"Cast me to death," he said.
As the distances grow larger, till infinity,
As eternity sweeps by, as death whispered by.
A timeless tale followed, As my days passed by.

stuck pendant
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@halcyon vector here's another one

halcyon vector
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# halcyon vector hi okay so i would like to mention that i might not be the best at critique so l...

No worries at all! I appreciate your thoughts.

The last verse reflects the feeling of time slipping away endlessly
"Cast me to death" is almost like a surrender to the past, a plea to be freed from memories
As distance and time stretch "till infinity", the weight of longing becomes eternal. "As eternity sweeps by, as death whispered by" suggests that even as life moves forward, the presence of loss lingers like a quiet echo

It’s a timeless cycle, waiting, losing, and remembering
until it all fades into something beyond time itself
Hope that helps!

halcyon vector
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oh, that makes sense. the title fits perfectly then.

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i like your work overall, good work!

stuck pendant
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halcyon vector
stuck pendant
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I liked your writing too, ping me if you ever post

halcyon vector
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ive posted 3 poems in total, i can tag you there if you want

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