#The Chaser

12 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

dusky vapor
#

Simple, quick and easy!

What more could you want?

You want them right? Just go get em! Don't get cold feet now! Not when you got them right where you want em!

Look I know sometimes you get worried, but come on, you're you! People adore you! Of course they want you!

Hindsight's twenty-twenty so obvious signs are gonna get overlooked now and then, it happens to the best of us!

Like sure, they were shocked when you first told them and then they got all flustered, panicked and said they only liked you as a friend, but you knew what they really meant. Plus love's slow right?

You never give up and that's why people like you!

Because you're different! You're persistent! A real Go-getter attitude just waiting to scoop them up and hold them in your arms!

And hey, maybe the first five times didn't work, sure! But hey, six times the charm!

And trust me don't get discouraged now that they side eye you or walk a bit faster when you're near them, ya got em on the run!

They're just giving you the O'l hard to get treatment! They're practically already yours!

Sigh, Oh young love!

And okay yeah maybe, just maybe, you overreacted a bit and said some things in a small bit of rage but come on! Who wouldn't in your shoes? Everyone knows it's meant to be anyone could see that!

But don't worry! Just keep telling their friends your side and they'll all support you, no problem.

I mean you're clearly in the right here!

You're doing it for them after all.

OH! Look! Look now, ya see their bags? They're getting more and more tired! They're getting torn between your advances! Dazed by your presence!

A bit more pressure and I'm sure they'll crack!

It's what you want and you know it's what they want too, they're just confused.

Because believe me, just "Being Friends", was overrated.

So go out and give it another shot! Only so many times they can say no!

Plus at this point, what have you truly got left to lose?

And after, all it's gotta work now.

Right?

sour pumice
#

This piece does a great job of capturing a spiraling, obsessive mindset. The way it starts off with an almost motivational tone before gradually slipping into something more unsettling is really effective. The repetition and forced enthusiasm make the narrator feel increasingly unhinged, which adds to the impact. A couple of small things that might strengthen it: varying some of the phrasing so the escalation feels more natural rather than predictable, and possibly making the ending even sharper—something that leaves a lingering unease. Overall, it’s a strong, chilling piece that really pulls the reader into its warped perspective. Nicely done.

woven fjordBOT
dusky vapor
wooden mulch
# dusky vapor Simple, quick and easy! What more could you want? You want them right? Just go...

This poem is unsettlingly cheerful in tone, masking something deeply obsessive

It starts like a pep talk-

"Simple, quick and easy! What more could you want?"

but quickly warps into something more sinister

Lines like "Don't get cold feet now! Not when you got them right where you want em!" turn love into a game of control, and the way rejection is brushed off - "They're just giving you the O’l hard to get treatment! They're practically already yours!" - feels eerily delusional

The repetition builds an almost comedic persistence - "maybe the first five times didn't work, sure! But hey, six times the charm!" but that forced optimism makes it worse
By the time we get to "A bit more pressure and I’m sure they’ll crack!", it’s no longer about love, just possession

And then the final whisper -

"And after all, it's gotta work now. Right?"

a chilling moment of doubt that lingers long after the poem ends
Honestly, well written!

dusky vapor
wooden mulch
dusky vapor
wooden mulch
woven fjordBOT
dusky vapor
#

@sweet bone

sweet bone