The Storm

[shadow sentinel]

Blackened skies churn,
As crimson tears bleed.
Rain lashes, biting into my skin,
searing the air,
Howling my name.

The thunder roars,
The ground trembling beneath me, 
Its voice rattling my bones. 
Lightning strikes -
A burst of white fire,
Ripping the sky in agony,
As it resounds deep within me.

The air thickens,
Veiled in grey, 
Dulling my mind.
The rain falls in torrents, 
Shattering the sky,
My skin tearing
Beneath its fury.

The heavens shudder 
In violent grief,
Splitting apart. 
The wind whispers my name,
A flash - then silence.
The storm's breath stilled, 
As if holding its breath,
Awaiting the rupture.

The storm releases -
Thunder cracks like bones,
Resonating in my soul.
Blinding light tears the horizon -
My cry escapes,
Fueling the storm, 
My soul bared.

The storm is mine

@marsh agate
@jovial belfry

@rain juniper

@terse bison
@sharp vessel
@ripe stone

@lyric turret

[prisma crater]

What is this poetry talking about?

I see that is the storm

[shadow sentinel]

It's reflecting the persons internal mental/ emotional state , and pain and anger

[prisma crater]

Ah, okay, i see, well it's good that you have this, we write poetry because we don't have anyone to understand us

[shadow sentinel]

Yeah. I started writing as a way to let things out

[covert estuary]

Its good but its not flowly

[shadow sentinel]

Would you care to explain more

[gray scarab]

I enjoy the description of the storm, and there are hints during the poem clarified in the end that the storm is a metaphore how you feel. I didn't stumble over the words while reading it. There's a typo in "It's voice" which should be "Its voice", as English possessives are weird. If I may offer a suggestion, I would say for the last line "This storm is mine" would increase the impact. But that's just me.

[shadow sentinel]

Thank you, I appreciate it!

[sudden monolith]

Awesome description, the imagery is beautiful and I love the way you use the storm to mirror your feelings! If anything, I'd say maybe separate some verses; like I would separate "...my bones." and "Lightning strikes..." into two different verses, because they describe different elements (in nature and emotions) and I think that would be more impactful, but overall good job!

[shadow sentinel]

Thank you!

[candid halo]

The flow is curious at times.

[hollow sphinx]

If I could say, the poem is a bit ambiguous, I understand it is to represent the unrest within your mind which seems to be of the aggressive kind, but the poem conveys emotions unsettling rather than destructive. In short, it’s too aggressive than it needs to be, but good nonetheless.

When you think of a storm on a dark night, what emotions do you gather?

[shadow sentinel]

How is it too aggressive, can you explain more? And what you mean by its unsettling rather than destructive?

And I think of mostly a lot of anger /rage but pain/depression too.

[hollow sphinx]

The second verse is where we can see the aggressiveness/anger the poem conveys, in contrast to the fourth verse where it is of the unsettling kind.

One interpretation of mine is that the flow shifts from anger in the second verse to a “calm in the storm” in the third, then to the fourth, which is what made me curious as to what emotions were you exactly feeling

I understand and agree with your perspective of anger and pain but if I could say so, you’re missing a crucial emotion when it comes to storms. Fear.

Ofcourse there are a lot of emotions each and every one can feel when it comes to it, for example, in a storm on a dark night, one could feel lost, another out of control, somebody could feel tiny amidst the vast ocean, and someone else mighty on top of the mast of a ship in a storm

But fear is something everybody feels

So I guess that is the flow it’s missing, the shift of emotions that comes along with the words, I hope it makes sense