karmic ether
Feeling a little constricted,
My darling?
Is it hard to breath when
your lungs no longer
have adequate room to expand?
Caught within the webs of
the very lies you forced me to weave -
as I wavered, and faltered
serving as your helpless prey.
I don't think I ever wanted you to
love me, I just needed to
prove I was still loveable.
There's no sorrow to follow the
torn silk threads of broken promises
spun into the dress I now wear.
Our arguments hang in intricate
macramé knots, woven
then pulled until impossible
to pick undone. I know darling,
how glass walls never splintered,
never fractured, rationality always aids
in manipulation anyway.
Suffocating with love only
after you'd done something wrong -
using my wants to guilt away doubts.
Echos of conversations from
when we began haunt corners of
rooms, as cobwebs of hope.
They're nothing but scraps -
a discarded waste that once was a home.
Aren't you a pretty thing
when you're silent, ignoring me -
because really, that's what you did.
You never asked my hopes or my dreams,
never cared about the nightmares taunting me.
I deceived myself into believing nobody
would want to listen, that silence
was always the better option.
Yet when I pulled away suddenly
I was beautiful again, someone
worthy of your venomous praise.
I will not beg for something
I now know I deserved.
Darling, I hope in losing me, you lose
a piece of yourself within the tangle
of emotions left with me. Remember the
sound of my hollow platitudes
that rang with the brassy
sounds of futility.
elfin sleet
formal igloo
ornate leaf
safe veldt