Me, the Poet

[hoary tendon]

Take a thought and write a poem.
Sing it sweet and belt it tragic,
Wrap it tight to make it magic.

If you sit alone and scared
Ask it why, you who dared;
Take that thought and write a poem.

Cry some lines and craft a rhyme,
Spill it wide, but check the time,
Wrap it tight to make it magic.

Make those edits and show them all
you’re profound, and you can surely
Take a thought and write a poem.

Send it narrow and shout it close
Keep it smaller and let it grow
Wrap it tight to make it magic

Write another and then two more
Blaze the new and slide the classic
Take a thought and write a poem
Wrap it tight to make it magic,

<@&1145760802666717234> <@&1144090752457113794>

Attempted a Villanelle

[languid coral]

@hoary tendon hey, you did it! It is a villanelle. Congratulations.
As I count, 6 to 8 syllables per line; a little liberty with “take a thought” vs “take that thought” (line 6); it feels like trochee, no? — ∪ — ∪ with four stresses per verse, but with the unstressed syllable omitted at the end of some lines (e.g. “if you sit alone and scared”) or moved to the inside of the verse (“Write another and then two more”).
Other considerations. Perfect rhymes in some stanzas (scared/dared; tragic/magic).
Is there the tiniest squeak of amusement about the danger of poetry that slides or spills into pretentiousness? I may be making it up. But I swear I hear a tiny smirk in “show them all / you’re profound” but the poem is not mocking; it takes its craft seriously. Am I getting it? You tell me. Perhaps no irony was intended. Well done.

[hoary tendon]

No you get it!! It's something that I feel where I take ordinary thoughts and turn them into poems and suddently I'm profound. It's a weird thought to have. Yes, that was the rhythym. I was going for iambic tetrameter orginally but settled into the trochaic rhythm as it felt a lot stronger here. Yeah, it was a bit of liberty with line 6 but I felt it fit.

[languid coral]

Splendid. I’m all for liberties; I figured you’d weighed a thought and that thought and found the latter weightier, more interesting , and worth the liberty.

By the way, the phrase “suddenly I’m profound” (6 syllables, but definitely not trochee) has real spice and wit to it.

Your verbs are doing all the heavy lifting: take, write, sing, belt, wrap, make, write, send, shout, blaze, slide.
Hmm. “Make, take; write, wrap; send, slide” . . . .

[hoary tendon]

Is it bad for the verbs to do that much lifting?

[hoary tendon]

I'll try it out!

[languid coral]

It’s not bad at all for verbs to lift, drift, blaze, raise, slide, ride, send, end. 🙂

[hoary tendon]

Oh awesome

[hoary tendon]

I want to ask for advice. How do I improve? How do I become great?

[languid coral]

@hoary tendon I’m very impressed you ask for advice so boldly; and I’m not sure I know how to become great—I should be asking you. I've only ever written a single villanelle, hardly shown to anyone, and I can share it with you if it helps your craft. I can’t give you the directions to the road to poetic greatness because I don't know how to get there myself. But I can at least raise alternative phrasings and rewrites.
In a way I think you may be depriving yourself of a chance for run at fun with the verbs, which can rhyme or at least alliterate with each other. “Take” and “make” for instance.