And I Said To Someone

[errant tapir]

And I said to Death
And He listened
Tapestries in red
And the world wisened

Days passed on and on

And I said to Time
And She whispered
Tapestries in rhyme
And the world silenced

The world moved on and on

And I said to Space
And Them I couldn't see
Tapestries of daze
And the world-

There was nothing but
A solemn tone
In a dead man's rut
A feeble abode

I tried to speak again
But no one did I find
But there was Someone
And Someone, he cried

And he spoke to Death
And He listened
Tapestries in red
And the world wisened

The days stopped

[bronze python]

This poem has a haunting, cyclical rhythm that reinforces its themes of time, death, and existence. The repetition of "tapestries" adds a poetic, almost mythical quality. The shift in perspective at the end is intriguing—perhaps expanding on "Someone" could deepen the emotional impact. A nicely enigmatic and thought-provoking piece.

[errant tapir]

Thank you so much. I intentionally left the identity of "Someone" to be ambiguous. The common responses I've gotten are those of reincarnation of the narrator, or the ambiguous identity meaning anyone can be "Someone". I myself meant the latter.

[spark mountain]

this poem reminds me of emily's " i could not stop for death"

[errant tapir]

Oh haha yeah that was my inspiration.

[spark mountain]

oh ok that makes sense

[tame matrix]

This poem really makes me think of what if judgement day was put into words. The short length of each line paired with the mystery hidden behind it all like "he listened" and "she whispered" add a haunting effect to this piece. I find it interesting how you've repeated "tapestries" throughout. It's like it gives off an illusive vibe to it. Perhaps some sort of hypnosis to have the speaker controlled as the "days passed on and on" and even if he "said" something, the "world" would remain "silences". It's ominous, it's curious yet it's also peaceful but in a sense that since we don't have the answers we want, we can't really rage on since we are asking these questions to "death" and "time" which will always have the upper hand on us. So it's like a hierarchy—we might want to make some kind of move but we can't really go anywhere if things that are above us don't allow it.

I like the Volta towards the end with "someone" doing the same thing as the speaker in the beginning. What's more intriguing is how "the days stopped" after he was the new person to be asking questions. Maybe it's like some kind of cycle like how cows get slaughtered in the factory. Since this involves "time" and "death" the speaker could be a philosopher who ponders the meaning to life and what they are going through before it's too late for them.

This poem was a really good one overall. Well done