Waves churn

[supple osprey]

a calm ocean breeze flows through the air a sense of happiness everywhere, a crack of thunder a touch of ice, on the surface a light haze, high above the stars gaze lays a storm of emotion like no other

The water churns the sky burns a rain of ash starts to fall, somethings wrong a deep commotion what’s happening in the ocean

The sun fades the sky’s darken the ash turned to fire, the ocean no more then dust for madness seeps through the crust, as the light turns to dark the sense of happiness no where, near what do you see what do you hear?

MADD props to the most helpful person @abstract pilot

[cold crystal]

bit difficult to understand. i would rewrite this with the correct punctuation

[uneven sandal]

Tbh I love the lack of punctuation in the last stanzas. It kind of makes you rush reading it, adding to the madness if you get what I mean...

[supple osprey]

Lmao definitely the intended purpose not that I copied the wrong version without punctuation

[supple osprey]

But you got it in the end even I had trouble reading this version

[abstract pilot]

The punctuation in some places isn't right (like the do the spacing i showed you), its good, ABSOLUTELY LOVE THE STRUCTURE AND WORDS but i feel like it misses smooth transitions