#what i once forbade

93 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

wheat prism
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to live in a realm,
i'm merely surviving.
on the periphery of life,
a dystopia to thrive in.

where the forbidden stands forgiven,
people feeding on others' misery.
a funeral of benevolence,
driving to the cold cemetery.

while on the other side of the town,
are they breeding,
breeding envy, angst, wrath, despair;
to be absorbed in the cruelest fire.

beyond the smoke of the fire spread,
stands you,
you, to who i run,
to seek refuge,
whilst to me, in turn,
you throw cruel, cold, noxious swords,
stabbing me,
grabbing me,
antagonizing me,
hypnotizing me.

i was a vase,
you destroyed me,
destroyed me enough to look at me,
through you.
pouncing from the sting,
i do nothing but roar.
and from your sweaty hands,
i then steal the swords.

i balance the chaos within with the chaos there out,
hence, i swallow those swords in and puke blood out.
i was well-built,
then a shattered vase you made me,
a shattered vase whose shards will,
pierce you,
pierce you enough to make you bleed,
make you bleed enough to well your eyes,
well your eyes enough to shed you dry,
shed you dry enough to turn you,
turn you into the dreadful wreck you made me.

envy, angst, wrath, despair;
these breed in me now while the former me fades.
long forgotten, that corpse to mine lies,
to become one of those who i once forbade.

-kripa

wheat prism
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@heady warren

heady warren
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give me a while, i'll give it a review

wheat prism
steel knollBOT
wheat prism
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@frosty patio

heady warren
wheat prism
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@azure totem

azure totem
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Well, that stirred me up

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Such emotion

wheat prism
wheat prism
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@lilac ocean

lilac ocean
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i cannot review this :>>

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not because im stupid

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but because i need t know what the concept is

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like tell me

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what youre og vision was

wheat prism
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yeah so

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it’s about how sometimes around some kind of people

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people whom you despise

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can turn you into a version of themselves

lilac ocean
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that made you suffer

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yah

wheat prism
lilac ocean
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i used to be one of those peopl

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see i used to think rules and regulations in school

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were more important then

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friendships

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i basically reported all my friends

wheat prism
lilac ocean
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....yep i was evil as hell

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stuck up prefect turned student council president

lilac ocean
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uh

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uh huh i was elected student council president every year you know how?

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i did my job

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i was the legit devil but i did my job

lilac ocean
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anyways

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other people could probs resonate with this

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i was legit

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....

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.np

light windBOT
lilac ocean
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i was that

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no

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what the hell

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not working

wheat prism
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😭😭

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did you like the poem tho?

lilac ocean
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YAZ YAZ

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anyways

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i was

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check my profile

wheat prism
lilac ocean
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thats what i was

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the song

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ive had thing song looping 4 times to make that joke

wheat prism
lilac ocean
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:>>

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DID YOU GET IT

wheat prism
buoyant crag
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Woahhh

buoyant crag
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I like this

wheat prism
wheat prism
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@buoyant crag

buoyant crag
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okay so idk what u intended it to be, but my interpretation was a someone going through sexual assault and then fighting their way through, victim blaming and antagonizing, will to fight the culprit and deliver them what they deserve

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id love to know what the poem meant to u tho

wheat prism
buoyant crag
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oooooo

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i seeeeeeeeee

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that makes sense

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interesting

wheat prism
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the shattered vase is the destroyed version of ourselves and the shards which we use are the broken pieces of ourselves through which we harm others

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the same way they tried to destroy us once

buoyant crag
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i get itttt

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good job at this too

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i love suffering smog the best ngl

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probably cus i can relate to it a bit too much

wheat prism
wheat prism
buoyant crag
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İTS THE TRUTH HUN 😭

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not saying it won't change it

frosty patio
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I love this poem! I was wondering how the title would be expanded or mean but after reading the whole poem, I can see it!

I especially love how much imagery this poem has, since it gets me thinking.

Another thing is the flow, it flows so well, from how you introduce yourself and the world you're in, then how the people in the world are, all the way to how you became one of these people, it's just... magnificent!

Then, you used the metaphors so excellent, and in a way that's quite new to me (ofc, with other literary devices)

And now here is where my 'male instinct' took over, the sixth stanza; the repetition of the word 'enough' is too well done here, and as I said, my 'male instinct' made it look so interesting because of how the word enough is repeated from different distances, it's as if the 'enough' of the doings is never quite 'enough' or graspable. IDK THIS JUST FEELS LIKE WHAT IT IS LOL

(I also noticed the enough is like a tiny stair, as if you're going down the stairs of 'enough' just for it to never be enough..? IDK WHAT IM SAYING HELP THIS SOUNDED RIGHT)

Last but not least, I like how you mentioned the feelings that once was only breeding the forbidden ones, is now overwriting the old you, and this somehow compliments the second line, "I'm merely surviving" it's like saying you can't survive in this world without being one of them

Overall, it's a super beautiful and excellent poem, so I really love it!

Keep it up and happy writing!

-# sorry for the super late read LOL

wheat prism
frosty patio
wheat prism
frosty patio