#Wedding

107 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

errant grail
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I burst into halls of fleeting serenity
When you are here

Dead

Bleeding feathers
Of freeing levity

               I tumble as your glass eyes see me
                Floundering fawn of seer

                         *Lead*

                         By your tethers 
                         Of sleeping brevity

Your soul touched and flinched from me
I know your fears

Said

By the fissures
On pale causality

            I know that you are scared. Don't be
            For now I'm here

                              *Wed*

                              To you my dear
                              In peaceful eternity
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brazen plinthBOT
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@errant grail has sent a notification! - @marsh lava @uneven fern @empty shoal @runic badge @idle swift @limpid robin @light lagoon @manic verge @vague prairie @gritty jetty @wheat oak @rocky meadow

errant grail
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@low pike

low pike
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Mmmm serenity to levity to brevity and eternity

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Love that

errant grail
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@radiant mesa

empty shoal
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holy crap

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Absolutely spectacular use of that rhyme scheme

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love the isolation of "Dead/Lead/Said/Wed". It's so powerful - those words end up being like extra punctuation. They help stress the full meaning of the passages directly before and after

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It's soooooo recital-friendly, it's insane

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I'd love to narrate this one tbh

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There's a lot of evidence of poetic skill in here - you know your stuff, your style, your ART

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even though it's on the shorter side, you're really showing your capabilities

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absolutely gorgeous

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And I so adore the image of a "wedding" that the reader keeps in mind while reading; they know that there's gotta be something about marriage, but to me that theme is pretty hard to track down. There is an image of one-sided passion, with the speaker being very ready, eager, set on their decision - however, the person they address is just _radiating _ fear and unease

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It feels unsettling

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(the poem)

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It's very difficult to tell if the speaker is just very caring and attentive to their addressee's every feeling

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or if they are controlling/forcing them into something

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  • it could plausibly be a mixture of both 👀
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"glass eyes" helps to create the image of fragility and vulnerability of the addressee

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"Your soul touched and flinched from me", "I know that you are scared. Don't be", ...
Gosh. So these passages are just deliciously ambivalent and ambiguous - is the addressee exceptionally shy, or is the speaker giving them a good reason to be afraid? What is the story here?? AAAAA

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This is so brillianttttt

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I cannot stress that enough

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Cheers to you @errant grail 🥂

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Structure is beautifully executed, and content-wise? This is gold rain_is_INNOCENT

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Imma narrate this later, I want to see how the words and emotions flow out loud

vague prairie
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looooooaoao

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yatttyyy

errant grail
errant grail
# empty shoal It feels unsettling

Also...yes hehe. It is meant to be unsettling lol. And I'm soo glad you caught in to that lol. I do have my own interpretation but I'd LOVE for the audience to decide for themselves lol, thats how i rollABSOLOTL

uneven fern
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The -ity scheme gives it a punch that I love!! The meter is so smooth and the typography is angular and beautiful,

The play on wed and dead 👌 ties it all together with a lil ribbon

To you my dear
In peaceful eternity

Is the perfect ending! It slots so satisfyingly, well done!!

errant grail
errant grail
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@wooden iron

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@dreamy perch

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@wild acorn

wooden iron
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This is brilliance.

errant grail
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@plucky idol

errant grail
wooden iron
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Very neat, too.

errant grail
wooden iron
errant grail
wild acorn
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The imagery is haunting yet tender, with phrases.

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The idea of being "wed to you my dear in peaceful eternity" contrasts deeply with the earlier references to fear and uncertainty, making the conclusion feel like a promise of comfort.

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There's a quiet resolve in these words,

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an offering of solace to someone in pain.

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The delicate balance of fragility and strength is woven so delicately,

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making this poem resonate deeply.

errant grail
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@desert rune

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@undone comet

light lagoon
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@errant grail can you explain more about your style of writing
I am new to this so

errant grail
# light lagoon <@690136043156013103> can you explain more about your style of writing I am new...

Ahh haha gotcha! Well...this is my short experimentation of abcda rhyme scheme (if you wanna know more about rhyme scheme just tell me)
And well...the meaning...let's just say that it tethers on psychological horror? But I'll let you interpret it lol. It's more fun that way.
But other than that? Nothing more to explain lol.
If you wanna hear what I meant...sure! But again..this is free for interpretation hehe

light lagoon
errant grail
# light lagoon Oh okay I find it cool the c is just one word XD Does this kind of poetry have ...

Bahaha yes lol. And...I...dont think so? Well I'm not really well versed in that yet lol, I'm an amateur too.
And well..hmm..my pov...
|| well it's about the toxic relationship between the speaker and the addressee where the speaker finds the addressee, non-existing (dead) in their plane to be better for then to be 'wed'. And well...that can be for a myriad of reasons, but I will leave that to your imagination lol||

distant surge
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Fantastic job

errant grail
distant surge
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You’re plenty technical, unless we mean different things

errant grail
vague prairie
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i love the ryming couples

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they could do a good marriage

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ohno

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my hash key is replaced with an old one

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-# I mean the verses being married as the rhyming couplets work well together

light lagoon
# errant grail Bahaha yes lol. And...I...dont think so? Well I'm not really well versed in that...

Interestinggg
I envision white wings etched in blood , maybe of an angel maybe a dove
I see a face peaking through with glassy eyes , you hated and loved how she sees through your lies
I see you and her fears , especially when you are near
Yet she has to smile , it's the weight she has bear
Lastly I see the ring , you tell that she has nothing to fear
But why does she flinch everytime you call her dear

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My pov

errant grail
vague prairie
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zeanter is the shape poem falling feathers]

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half fableBOT
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errant grail
light lagoon
errant grail
vague prairie
errant grail
plucky idol
errant grail
brazen plinthBOT
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@onyx crag is now following @errant grail.

vague prairie
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radiant mesa
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"Brevity" and "levity" are such fascinating words! Thanks for enlightening my vocab bank with juicy imageries and vocabulary~~ heartpotat heartpotat

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(Nicely penned and arranged!)

errant grail
errant grail
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@molten portal

molten portal
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Nyo I'm not reading datcatstare

errant grail
molten portal
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I am single

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This poem is not for me

errant grail
molten portal
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Doesn't seem horror. Feels... melancholic

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🤔

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Is that hopeful

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This feeling of hopeful, fragile yet resilient?

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Love ignores fear.

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Most of the time, yes

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One would hope for eternity should the partner settle for everlasting seperation.

gritty jetty
errant grail
errant grail