broken yoke
Swathes of silken eyes—
struggle 'neath the frothened surface,
stiching scars to suppler flesh.
marred by smothering spite,
a starving babe succumbs
to sloughs of scalded sight.
all idle gazes cast as shame—
spared no mercy of the light,
no sanctuary sought or claimed,
Seas of silken eyes
survey abyssal craze,
forsaken by its purity,
reduced to sickened blaze,
this is sorrow's state—
seldom swift to salve;
seldom swift to sate.
river ivyBOT
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obtuse pelican
i loved the metaphors
dusty sonnet
Loved it to bits and still love it now.
The alliteration in the with the s sound often also brings a hissing sound to the already creepy judging theme of this poem, which is FANTASTIC
dusty sonnet
Swathes of silken eyes—
struggle 'neath the frothened surface,
stiching scars to...
I literally sent this message hours ago but internet was being a brat
wanton notch
Swathes of silken eyes—
struggle 'neath the frothened surface,
stiching scars to...
Loved it 😭
broken yoke
Oh opposite
That's alright
I'll revise it ig
It was meant to be bewildering
And swathes maybe veiled is better
But I'm not trying to blame the eyes here
Eyes represent onlookers, bystanders, etc.
Not at all
No one can be responsible for my own feelings
Other than me
I think you're trying a bit hard to psycho analyze me instead of clarifying the poem
Say one what
Ok so clarify that the eyes aren't the oppressors and it makes more sense
It's more observational
Than prescriptive
I'm not sure that there is a solution
Fair point
I write in varied styles