#Cloudland Metropolis ✨

1 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

frigid salmon
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As I meander through this city of light
With billboard signs shining bright
I only have one mission in mind
To leave who I used to be behind,

This concrete jungle holds many dreams
It holds people who aren’t what they seem
But then again, they stay optimistic
In this city, that is so futuristic,

Resplendent buildings fill up the sky
All these skyscrapers go up so high
That’s what this city is about
I was made to live here, no doubt

Street buskers, cars, and cacophonies all play, all of them leading my heart astray
This city makes my head twirl,
But that’s the reason it changes the world

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@raven pike @tired relic @oak helm

wooden raptor
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very cute, i enjoy it and the photo fits nicely.

For harsh criticism, i feel as if the poem doesn't go much deeper than the city you're exclaiming, and the author's view of it. It doesn't lead to much internal dialogue or thought, and, if it was supposed to, it needs another verse to explain any detailed conflict or wondering.

I believe it's cute though, and I see some underlying messages

crude meteorBOT
frigid salmon
lofty kelp
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i can really tell you like this city, it's a great read and i can relate bc i also live in a big city :]
tho i have to ask have you employed meter/prosody? bc i think it rlly helps with rhyme!!

frigid salmon
frigid salmon
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@grim stone

frigid salmon
tired relic
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Again it’s WOW your poems bring something over that we can’t say with words. It’s heartwarming ❤️‍🔥

frigid salmon