The Forgotten Playground

[sleek shuttle]

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 I absolutely love it. Actually well done

[grand current]

Really bro😭?
I had to tweak it because of the 2,000 word count. Glad it doesn't feel off😂

[sleek shuttle]

It didn't feel off to me. I can relate heavily with the poem, the way you've written it is just exactly how I would've written it.

It's quite moving imo 👏🏽

[frail locust]

Wonderful! @grand current has just pregressed to level 2!

[grand current]

Thanks for the feedback bro

[grand current]

Feedback

[frail locust]

Wonderful! @grand current has just pregressed to level 3!

[grand current]

feedback

[covert hull]

love myself a long scroll of good writing. When someone gets to the 2000 count it always gets me exited. I really like how through the whole poem you stayed on topic, never felt like you were reaching for anything. It all works so well. Not to mention how much i love the topic. Its one worth writing for. I have no tips or tricks to share as this poem is great as it is. The only thing of value i can say is keep writing my friend, keep on with the good work.

[grand current]

Thanks, bro. I really appreciate your kind words about my piece. Your compliment means a lot to me🤧 .

[amber mango]

@grand current has sent a notification! - @deep lantern

[grand current]

@deep lantern it's incomplete because I had to tweak it due to the word count then, but I hope you like it😆

[deep lantern]

Ohh damn I really hate the word count thing😭 you better send me the other half!!!

[frail locust]

Wonderful! @deep lantern has just progressed to level 5!

[grand current]

How'd I do that tho😹

Oh you mean Dms?

[deep lantern]

I just love how in the starting in each stanza there are two sides!! Like the beautiful and nostalgic past and the souless destructive present.

Brooo I really love this poem so much!!!! First it speaks of how ppl lose their childhood innocence as they grow up to be greedy adults whose only purpose is MONEY!! They chase after forever, forgetting how to actually live life. They are now like puppets of greed, deprived of joy and dreams. I feel sad cuz your poem really shows the reality of todays world.
Its portraying the human cycle!!

And in midst of all this chaos, a lonely soul, you stand there. It like you are only one who misses the old day and havn't lost his/her childhood innocence. The only sane one I do say. Who is not blinded by greed and still remembers how to actually live life. But cuz you are different from them, you are even more stuck!

It also kinda shows how ppl greed leads to urbanisation which ultimately leads to destruction of the nature.

I loved this alot alot alot alot!!!!!!!!!
I could actually feel the longing for the past and the distress of being the odd one.

Such a masterpiece!! Salute🫡

Loved it!!!(*≧∇≦)ﾉ💗💗💗🫂

[deep lantern]

Yep!!

[grand current]

I'd send you the full poem after I'm done reading your feedback😆

[deep lantern]

Okay I will be waiting!!!!!

[grand current]

Tysm for this... It means the world to know that the message came through so clearly😆...You really understood every layer I tried to express, and that really makes me happy in a way unimaginable ngl😭
I love your brain❤️😭

[deep lantern]

Aww it was my pleasure that I was abale to read it!! And I'm glad I was able to understand it in depth!!💗💗💗💗 im happy that I mad eyou ahppy!!(´▽｀) thank you(*≧∇≦)ﾉ💞💞🎶